In case you aren't familiar with the "Am I The A-hole" subreddit, it's a place where people can ask the internet to weigh in on if they are, indeed, being an A-hole in certain situations. In my experience, it usually involves straight men treating their female partners like garbage.
And recently, a thread went viral on the sub that once again proves men. ain't. SHITE. The OG post has since been deleted, but before that happened, it made its way over to Twitter, where it was immortalized in tweet form. It was also re-shared on the Two Hot Takes podcast Reddit page, where lots of people are chiming in. Here's the gist: A woman (let's just call her OP, for Original Poster) recently gave birth, and her husband demanded that she pay the entire hospital bill herself.
This is how the story goes, according to OP: She and her husband have been married for seven years and just had their first baby three months ago. In terms of finances, they split everything 50/50 and generally keep their money separate. Everything seemed to be going pretty well until they received the hospital bill for the birth.
For some context, OP had always planned to give birth without any medication, but ultimately decided to get an epidural after 24 HOURS of labor. And when the bill came, her husband expected her to pay for the entire $8,000 bill herself.
This is where OP's husband really reveals who he is: When OP asks why she has to pay for the entire bill herself, he responds, "You're the one who couldn't hold out for a few more hours and jacked up the bill," and that "he shouldn't have to pay for all [her] extra requests." And finally, if she wanted "luxury, [she] should expect to pay for it."
Although the original post was deleted, the comments on the thread are still available, and OP actually shared a breakdown of the "luxuries" her husband is referring to, and some extra commentary he gave:
"My epidural (I made it 24 hours, I surely could’ve lasted 14 more), the lactation consultant (didn’t I read enough books?), the nursery fee (it’s our baby, so he should stay in the room with us no matter how sleep deprived we are), an extra night's stay (suggested by the nurse to help me recover from the zero sleep I had), any food I ate (I should’ve packed snacks because I knew it could be long), my postpartum supplies (should’ve brought my own), and when they tested his blood, I requested they also test for the blood condition that runs in my family. After listing this out, I’m now realizing how stupid I was to think I was in the wrong here."
I think I speak for everyone when I say...
In the end, OP ended up paying the entire bill on her own. And now, she's questioning whether her feelings are valid and if it would be wrong to consider leaving her husband over this behavior.
In the comments, people had LOTS to say. Many called out OP's husband for using the term "luxury" for something his wife desperately needed at the time:
"Luxury? For having your vagina tear to birth his child? For having pain he would never be able to tolerate? The epidural lets you rest so you can get through the pushing stage, which can last hours (or at least it did for me). Since he’s not paying for the consequence of having sex with you, sounds like sex is a luxury he can’t afford. His lack of generosity and compassion is appalling. This is not a man who should be raising kids."
"It is dangerous to be with a man who considers your well-being a luxury."
Others pointed out that OP didn't just give birth to her child, she gave birth to HIS child, too:
"Everything is 50/50. That certainly includes the hospital bills for the BIRTH OF YOUR CHILD. That is also HIS CHILD. Run away. Leave this selfish A-hole as fast as you can."
"This wasn’t your childbirth; that would’ve been when your mama had you. This was the birth of y’all’s child, and he absolutely muthaf’in should be expected to contribute toward the cost. Holy hell."
And finally, some weren't afraid to use the "D" word and point out that OP's husband's comments aren't just hurtful, they're abusive:
"Abusers start their abuse after pregnancy because they know they have you captive at this point. I hope this isn’t the case with your husband, but that comment was the most vile, abusive thing anyone could say to the woman who had just given birth to their child. Personally, I don’t know how you would forgive him for that comment…ever. It might be time to prepare for divorce."
"I'm sorry he waited until you have children together to show you what kind of person and husband he truly is. I hope you manage to take way more than 50% in the divorce."