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    We Rewatched "ANTM" For The First Time As Adults And IDK How We Were Allowed To Watch This As Kids

    HOW did this air on network television?

    by ,

    Hello, world! We’re Shelby and Ehis, and we’re two twentysomethings who grew up watching a little TOO much reality TV. The crème de la crème of that programming? None other than America's Next Top Model.

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    While reminiscing over the glorious show, we both realized that we could NOT recall the first episode of the series. The cockroach episode? Absolutely. But the pilot of this esteemed series was in neither of our memory banks.

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    So we decided to rewatch the pilot of ANTM and, my goodness, this show, or at least the PILOT does not hold up.*

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    *The pilot aired 17 YEARS AGO in 2003! Seems like a whole other lifetime.

    Anyway, here are our thoughts. You were warned:

    Wow. These graphics are the PINNACLE of early-2000s.

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    Ehis: Now that I think about it, how did Tyra get the word out about this show? The pilot aired in 2003 and this was pre-social media. Was it an email blast? Casting call? Carrier pigeon? The world may never know.

    Um, were they REALLY looking for all shapes and sizes?

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    Even in 2020, we had to admit that the theme song is still iconic.

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    Shelby: It gives me chills every time.

    Remember when Tyra said she was looking for all "shapes and sizes"?

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    E: Yeah...I only see one size.

    This would...not fly on television today:

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    This is...insulting. And we're not even models!

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    S: There's a science to modeling.

    E: The physics behind the perfect ~smize~.

    Isn't it...illegal to ask this?

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    An icon in THE MAKING!

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    E: Kessie walked so Jade "It's Not Called America's Next Top Best Friend" Cole could run.

    S: I hope she trademarked that.

    LOL at the BOOM MIC making it into the shot.

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    Bless Ebony for giving us the GIF(t) that keeps on giving:

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    These living quarters looks ripped right out of The Sims.

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    Smoking...INDOORS???!! Where do we even begin.

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    The fact that this personal trainer only lasted one season is not a shock to ANYONE!

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    E: Why are you sharing women's weights on national televison?

    Ahh, yes. Naturally, if they show a woman's weight on national television, of course it's OK to show them all getting Brazillian waxes as well!

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    Live footage of us only HALFWAY through this pilot:

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    Before Mr. Jay and Miss J, Tyra is the one on set with the girls and directing them!

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    *Loss for words*

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    Modeling bikinis in the show seems a little...extreme.

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    S: Yeah, like when are you ever going to see an ad for a bikini on top of an NYC skyscraper?

    Is that...KIMORA LEE SIMMONS?

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    Why yes, yes it is.

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    E: Early-'00s royalty.

    OOF.

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    E: I don't remember this show being so body shame-y.

    OOF x2!

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    The lighting budget on this show is nonexistent. But hey, you gotta start somewhere!

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    Like, did this show age well? Not at all. But, the fact that Tyra was able to secure a modeling contract with Wilhelmina Models, a photo spread in Marie Claire magazine, and a contract with Revlon for the winner is NO SMALL FEAT!

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    And those oh-so-early-’00s fashion choices? In a word: iconic.

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