1.
If you’re dating an English major, you’re single to me. Like what’s Julian going to do, tell me the pen is mightier than the sword lmao
2.
English majors
3.
ate out an english major once, call that cunnilinguistics
4.
the student athlete meme but for white english majors who write poems like Pale hands Against white cheek We shatter Cigarettes
5.
Oh you're an English major? Name every word.
6.
PHILOSOPHY MAJOR: humanity is at risk STEM MAJOR: because global warming is affecting sea levels ENGLISH MAJOR: is it affecting or effecting
7.
english major twitter when marie kondo suggests they should donate the books they haven’t touched in 20 years
8.
me: im an english major everyone: what the heck are u gonna do with that? teach? lyft drivers: omg are you gonna write a novel?? i can’t wait to read it ur gonna be amazing!
9.
Me: *is an English major* Also me: English is the colonizer's language and it has trivial rules
10.
Spotify: Betty Who English major: Betty Whom Gay Twitter: Betty Whomst
11.
english majors be like oi bruv would u fancy a crumpet
12.
english majors be like man I gotta make a spotify playlist named after a quote from a nineteenth century poet whose body of work is riddled with homoerotic subtext by monday
13.
lawyers, doctors, businessmen and women: look at all our money us english majors:
14.
English majors be like thou hast an analogy due Friday, my liege
15.
All the English majors you who know have good jobs after years of being told we’d be unemployed. Look at us. Who would have thought writing understandable sentences could be a useful skill?
16.
english majors be like furthermore
17.
English majors only want one thing and it’s discussing
18.
Queer Eye but it’s five English majors trying to convince a small-town city council that young people actually love books and they should fund a new library.
19.
English majors be like “I got a whole book due Friday.” Thursday Night:
20.
english majors be handing their papers to professors like "am i worthwhile as a person check yes or no".
21.
ME: hi- WHITE ENGLISH MAJOR: my skin ☠️😪 is sensitive 👽🤔 but i still write my poems 🙏🏼👌🏻👏🏻 on my wrist with sharpie 🖊because art is pain 🚬😜