Periods are completely normal, and no one should ever be shamed for having them — AT ALL.
But alas, there are still some people who feel differently. And most of the time, these people tend to be men who have never menstruated a day in their lives. Such is the case with Reddit user r/ThrowAway568931 (or OP, for Original Poster)'s boyfriend, who recently shamed her for disposing of her period pads at his house.
OP shared the story in r/AmITheAsshole, a place where people can share their stories and ask the internet if they're the one in the wrong. Here are the full details:
"My boyfriend (23 years old) and I (18 years old) have been together for about three months now, and this is the first time I’ve spent the night over at his flat while I was on my period. Since yesterday, I’ve been changing my pads in his bathroom, and each time, I wrapped the used pad in a plastic wrapper and put it in the trash can. The trash can has a lid, and there’s a plastic garbage bag in there, so the pad was touching nothing but the trash that was already inside."
"I genuinely didn’t think it was a big deal, until my boyfriend took out the trash this morning and noticed the plastic wrappers in the bag. He knew they were the packaging for my pads because he had seen them before, and quite outraged, he asked whether my used pads were also in that bag. I told him yes, and he dropped the bag, calling me disgusting and telling me to take out the trash myself."
"I did, but then asked him where else I should’ve put my pads, and he told me I could’ve just kept them in my purse until I got home. I’m staying at his place for three nights because we both have some time off, and I wasn’t going to keep my used pads in my bag for days on end (imagine the smell)."
"He stated that he didn’t want my blood all over his trash and that I should find another way to dispose my pads ASAP. I don’t think my attempt of an explanation on why period blood isn’t as disgusting as he thinks it is got through to him, and he’s quite set on his opinion. I think he was a bit childish because I don’t understand how an adult straight man can be so disgusted by period blood, but when I texted my brother (19 years old) about it, he sided with my boyfriend."
"As I’ve been outnumbered, I wanted to see whether other people also believe what I did was an [asshole] move."
I think it's safe to say that OP was NOT in the wrong. Pretty much every single comment on the thread called out her boyfriend for his shaming behavior. Some straight up called him immature.
"Imagine being 23 and throwing a tantrum 'cause your girlfriend put trash in a trash can, simply embarrassing for him."
"He is too immature to date; he’s not ready for a relationship with a woman. What would happen if you unexpectedly started your period during sex? Is he going to yell and gag or reassure you that a shower can fix it? He’s not the one, not for you, and not for anyone until he learns to be more accepting of bodies."
Others really honed in on the fact that OP's boyfriend was upset that the used pads were touching his TRASH.
"He doesn’t want your blood all over his trash? How ridiculous. Was he planning to frame it and hang it on the wall or something? And the suggestion that you keep them in your purse for days on end is disgusting, in addition to being bizarre and deeply selfish. You disposed of your pads in a reasonable, tidy manner that didn’t create any new or inconvenient mess for him to clean up — he was going to take that trash out anyway."
"Your bf didn't want period blood all over his TRASH?!?!? Seriously??? How special is his trash? Does he dig through it with his tongue while blindfolded? So he can't even fathom the idea of blood in the trash (keep him away from hospitals), but wants you to keep it in your PURSE?!?"
And finally, plenty advised her to GTFO of the relationship as a whole:
"He is absolutely right, you need to take out your trash. That includes this boyfriend. Make sure he's in a plastic bag so he doesn't come into contact with the reality of women and get scared."
"Run now. You do not want to marry this man who thinks a natural function is so gross but then insists you carry used pads in your purse. That would be gross. Is he 12? Because he's acting 12. Run."