If you're obsessed with 90 Day Fiancé: Before the 90 Days, you probably already know by now that the men on the show are some real winners (and by "winners," I mean total losers and incredibly toxic).
There's Big Ed, who, among MANY other things, asked his girlfriend Rose to take an STI test because he didn't trust her, and asked her to shave her legs because he didn't find her feminine enough.
There's also Tom, who was super hot-and-cold with Darcy and basically got caught cheating on her, but had the audacity to get super defensive about it and then ask her if she'd gained weight.
But we're not here to talk about them right now. We're here to talk about yet another man on the show that I think is absolute trash and a half. That's right, I'm talking about Ash Naeck.
We first meet Ash and Avery when Avery travels to visit Ash in Australia. Ash is a "relationship coach" who "helps women find Mr. Right," aka just another dude telling women what they need to do to make themselves more "attractive" to men. Barf.
Another aspect of Ash's job is constantly texting his clients, which makes Avery a little uneasy. When she confronts Ash about the fact that he never mentions their relationship to his clients, even when they openly hit on him, he responds with this:
You're SINGLE!?!?? According to WHO??? TO YOU??? What about the person who just traveled THOUSANDS OF MILES to be with you after virtually dating you for nine months?!?!???
But that's just an amuse-bouche to the fuckery. While Avery's in Australia, Ash decides to hold his very first in-person coaching seminar, and this is when his trash ways REALLY jump out.
Ash starts his seminar by explaining how women "don't understand" how men's brains work. He says that men tend to put the information in their brains into organized "boxes" while women's brains are "interlinked," meaning they're always thinking of multiple things at one time. In other words, sexist-pseudoscience-bullshit.
Then, he starts going off about "feminine" and "masculine" energy, reinforcing some seriously outdated and harmful gender stereotypes.
The women in the audience are not having this AT ALL.
Right there with ya, ladies.
When one of the women decides to challenge Ash on this, he doubles down and starts spewing EVEN MORE harmful, misogynistic rhetoric.
Avery sits in the back, obviously embarrassed.
Ash claims that there needs to be this "difference" in "masculine" and "feminine" energies in order for passion to exist. The woman speaks up again and says, based on her own experiences, this isn't the case.
And this is how Ash responds:
I'M SORRY???? This dude is actually telling A WOMAN, his ENTIRE CLIENTELE, the EXACT PERSON HE'S SUPPOSED TO (AND PAID TO) BE HELPING, that she's wrong and that her feelings and experiences surrounding these issues are invalid.
At this point Avery's like, "Did I make a huge mistake?"
Ash closes the seminar by talking down to the audience one last time, and then they leave, having wasted 30 minutes of their lives they'll never get back.
AND AS IF THAT'S NOT ENOUGH, when Avery questions Ash about the things he said in the seminar, he gets defensive and runs off.
Then he gives Avery some crazy eyes as if this is all her fault...
...tries to put it all back on her...
...accuses her of being patronizing while literally patronizing her...
...and gaslights the shit out of her!!!
When Avery makes one last push to explain that she was just trying to understand him and why he always avoids big issues like this, Ash makes the classic bitch-boy closing statement:
YEAH, ASH. IT IS YOUR FAULT.
Ash goes on to do and say lots of other questionable things throughout Avery's time in Australia. And in the "Tell All", he even admits to lying to Avery in an attempt to catch her flirting with someone else.
But his super embarrassing seminar (and how he reacted to it) proves that Ash isn't the genius, holier-than-thou relationship guru he thinks he is. Actually, he's a super sexist and misogynistic narcissist who actually has no business giving women or anyone else advice on love or dating ever.
