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We Need To Talk About Ash's Seminar On "90 Day Fiancé" Because It's The Most Humiliating Moment I've Ever Seen On Reality TV

Actually, he's the worst, actually.

If you're obsessed with 90 Day Fiancé: Before the 90 Days, you probably already know by now that the men on the show are some real winners (and by "winners," I mean total losers and incredibly toxic).

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There's Big Ed, who, among MANY other things, asked his girlfriend Rose to take an STI test because he didn't trust her, and asked her to shave her legs because he didn't find her feminine enough.

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There's also Tom, who was super hot-and-cold with Darcy and basically got caught cheating on her, but had the audacity to get super defensive about it and then ask her if she'd gained weight.

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But we're not here to talk about them right now. We're here to talk about yet another man on the show that I think is absolute trash and a half. That's right, I'm talking about Ash Naeck.

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I should mention that Ash's filler word in conversation is "actually," which is the first word in the mansplaining bible.

We first meet Ash and Avery when Avery travels to visit Ash in Australia. Ash is a "relationship coach" who "helps women find Mr. Right," aka just another dude telling women what they need to do to make themselves more "attractive" to men. Barf.

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Color me totally unimpressed.

Another aspect of Ash's job is constantly texting his clients, which makes Avery a little uneasy. When she confronts Ash about the fact that he never mentions their relationship to his clients, even when they openly hit on him, he responds with this:

Ash saying, "I'm single right now."
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You're SINGLE!?!?? According to WHO??? TO YOU??? What about the person who just traveled THOUSANDS OF MILES to be with you after virtually dating you for nine months?!?!???

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Ash later clarifies in the "Tell All" that he meant to say that he wasn't married, but I have my doubts.

But that's just an amuse-bouche to the fuckery. While Avery's in Australia, Ash decides to hold his very first in-person coaching seminar, and this is when his trash ways REALLY jump out.

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Ash starts his seminar by explaining how women "don't understand" how men's brains work. He says that men tend to put the information in their brains into organized "boxes" while women's brains are "interlinked," meaning they're always thinking of multiple things at one time. In other words, sexist-pseudoscience-bullshit.

Ash saying "it's going crazy in your brain" to the women in the audience.
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Then, he starts going off about "feminine" and "masculine" energy, reinforcing some seriously outdated and harmful gender stereotypes.

Ash explaining that men used to go out and make money while women stayed at home with the kids.
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The women in the audience are not having this AT ALL.

The women in the audience looking completely over it.
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Right there with ya, ladies.

Close-up of a woman in the audience laughing and another looking exasperated.
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When one of the women decides to challenge Ash on this, he doubles down and starts spewing EVEN MORE harmful, misogynistic rhetoric.

Ash saying women have "feminine" energy so they need "masculine" energy in their lives.
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Avery sits in the back, obviously embarrassed.

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Ash claims that there needs to be this "difference" in "masculine" and "feminine" energies in order for passion to exist. The woman speaks up again and says, based on her own experiences, this isn't the case.

An audience member explaining that she and her past partners were very balanced and still had lots of passion.
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And this is how Ash responds:

Ash simply telling the woman, "No."
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I'M SORRY???? This dude is actually telling A WOMAN, his ENTIRE CLIENTELE, the EXACT PERSON HE'S SUPPOSED TO (AND PAID TO) BE HELPING, that she's wrong and that her feelings and experiences surrounding these issues are invalid.

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At this point Avery's like, "Did I make a huge mistake?"

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Girl, I hate to the bearer of bad news but...you definitely did.

Ash closes the seminar by talking down to the audience one last time, and then they leave, having wasted 30 minutes of their lives they'll never get back.

Ash telling the women this might be hard for them to understand, but it's reality.
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AND AS IF THAT'S NOT ENOUGH, when Avery questions Ash about the things he said in the seminar, he gets defensive and runs off.

Ash running away from Avery saying, "I don't wanna talk."
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Then he gives Avery some crazy eyes as if this is all her fault...

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...tries to put it all back on her...

Ash telling Avery he's feeling like she attacked him.
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...accuses her of being patronizing while literally patronizing her...

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...and gaslights the shit out of her!!!

Ash questioning Avery on whether she thinks he's good to her or not.
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When Avery makes one last push to explain that she was just trying to understand him and why he always avoids big issues like this, Ash makes the classic bitch-boy closing statement:

Ash sarcastically saying "OK, it's my fault then."
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YEAH, ASH. IT IS YOUR FAULT.

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Ash goes on to do and say lots of other questionable things throughout Avery's time in Australia. And in the "Tell All", he even admits to lying to Avery in an attempt to catch her flirting with someone else.

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But his super embarrassing seminar (and how he reacted to it) proves that Ash isn't the genius, holier-than-thou relationship guru he thinks he is. Actually, he's a super sexist and misogynistic narcissist who actually has no business giving women or anyone else advice on love or dating ever.

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ACTUALLY.

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