1. Explaining to others how to pronounce your name.
2. Then explaining the connection (or lack of it) between your real name and your daak naam.
3. Getting any grade below A in your report card. Even a single B+.
4. And the inevitable comparison with the bright Bengali boy next door.
5. Breaking your beloved choti, ALWAYS from Bata.
6. Hardcore Bengalis judging you for not knowing your "Bengali stuff."
7. Meeting a complete stranger who is suddenly your uncle.
8. When your brand new uncle asks you what you're doing these days.
9. When your guests ask you to "display your talents."
10. When there are a lot of guests and you have to put on a special performance.
11. Watching helplessly as your mother converses with your friends in Hindi.
12. When big fiery aunties in sultry ''haath kaata'' (sleeveless) blouses come to visit.
13. Which leads to your most dreaded 5 words, "Son, go get some paan?"
14. Eventually, big fiery aunty tells your mom about what she saw you do the other day.
15. And then, the dreaded "talk" from ma.
16. When ma is livid and you lock the door. And she says, "Come out son, I won’t hurt you."
17. When ma proceeds to run behind you with literally whatever she can find.
18. When you come home late from playing downstairs.
19. Bengali food is BEST. But it is also one of our primary causes for concern.
20. Desperately craving some good Bengali food and not being able to find any.
21. And finally, when ma cooks the tastiest, most droolworthy, perfectly tender chicken – and someone else takes the leg piece.
