1. P.C. Sorcar would be the headmaster of Hogwarts.
2. The Hogwarts Express would leave from Howrah Junction.
3. On the Hogwarts Express, nothing would stop Ron from pigging out on Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Phuchka.
4. Every student would be expected to know the school song, "Amar Shonar Hogwarts."
5. Hermione would obviously be the class topper, and her extempore and elocution skills would be the talk of the town.
6. To get to Diagon Alley, one would have to know which exact turn to take in Gariahat.
7.Rabindra Sangeet would be a compulsory subject.
8. Instead of Tales of Beedle the Bard, kids would grow up listening to Tales of Thakurmar Jhuli.
9. Rita Skeeter would publish scoops on Anandabazar Patrika.
10. Mohun Bagan would obviously have the best Quidditch team of all time.
11. Or would it be East Bengal? The debate rages on.
12. Hogwarts would be open during Christmas, and closed during Durga Puja.
13. The houses would be named Ganguly, Chattopadhyay, Bandyopadhyay & Roy Chowdhury.
14. Hogwarts boys would look hella dapper in a dhoti panjabi of their house colours.
15. Same for the girls, except their sharees would be made of pure toshor silk.
16. Afternoon classes would be cancelled because every student would have to take a mandatory afternoon nap.
17. Lord Bholdemort would still be the greatest dark wizard, although he was one of Professor Sorcar's brightest students.
18. The most feared Unforgivable Curse? Obviously, AARBHAATKHABENA, which would prevent anyone from eating any more bhaat, regardless of how much ilish maach they have left. Pure torture.
19. If Dolores Umbridge became headmistress, all the students of Hogwarts would rally outside her office, screaming chants of "Cholbe naa, cholbe naa."
20. Bappi Lahiri would be banned from Gringott's.
21. The first floor girls' bathroom would be inhabited by a wailing ghost known as Pissed Off Paro.
22. Heck, even the boys' bathroom would have a ghost in it. Disgruntled Devdas.
23. Exploding rosogollas would be the hottest seller at Honeydukes.
24. To open the Marauder's Map, one would have to tap on the map with their wand and say, "Shotti bolchhi fajlami korbo."
25. And "fajlami shesh" to close it again.
26. Every house would have a resident bhoot.
27. Unless, of course, the house had a resident petni.
28. Most students would have a gigantic family like Ron's.
29. During breaks, all the students would just go to the Great Lake and look for some maach.
30. Shaan would headline the Yule Ball.
31. Quidditch would be played on enchanted haath-e taana rickshaws.
32. Mamata Bannerjee would be the Minister for Magic.
33. And of course, Harry's daak-naam would be Babai.