1. She has more money than she knows what to do with.
Seriously, Beyonce? You just made over $50 million from Pepsi and who-knows how much from that H&M campaign. I’m pretty sure you can afford to produce and album or two…or twenty!
2. She clearly has too much time on her hands.
Bey, you just added like 20 more shows to your Mrs. Carter World Tour. That’s time you could’ve been using to give us an album…not more shows featuring you in a sequined leotard, with a wind machine, and grown twins dancing behind you.
3. You haven’t given us a real single yet.
Okay, so you gave us “Grown Woman” and half of “Standing On the Sun”, but you know what would be even better? How about 10 new songs? Yeah? No? Fine!
4. We need something to take the bland taste of that documentary out of our mouths.
That was probably the flattest, driest, blandest moment in your career. Please just give us a cold glass of Sasha Fierce to wash the taste of boring away.
5. The rest of “The Throne” has released albums.
Rihanna put an album out almost a year ago. Kanye’s album has been out for almost a month. Even your husband Jay Z dropped a solo album for the first time in 4 years. You mean to tell me we can’t get one album 2 years later? C’mon!
6. You’re all over Jay Z’s “Magna Carta Holy Grail” album.
This just goes right back to the fact that you must have too much time on your hands. How about you try working on your album before lending amazing vocals to your hubby’s? Please and thank you!
7. There are too many irrelevant artists coming out of the woodwork.
…and they need to be checked.
8. You’re telling your fans what to do.
Hey, hey, hey! Don’t tell me not to record you at your concert. For all I know, this may be the last one. I mean, what else am I to expect with NO NEW ALBUM?!?!
9. “Epic” happened…
…yeah, not much to say about that one.
10. People are catching the Holy Ghost at your concerts.
Probably because they just realized that you cancelled the album and are taking yet another hiatus from the music industry. That would be enough to make anyone catch the Holy Ghost.
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