Terrance & I at the Georgia Aquarium
I have a big brother. Someone who cares for me. Someone who lets me know that I matter. Someone who checks on me and finally makes me feel like I belong.
Who would of thought he find me on Facebook?
Yeah it sounds crazy trust and believe I think about it every day.
It was Christmas break and I finally went to my mom's house to stay the night. I woke up and I had a FaceBook message. Of course, I didn't know who it was from but one thing was familiar. WOOTEN
See, WOOTEN is my last name but it is a deeper meaning than that. That name came from my birth father, Thaddeus, who was "intimate with my mother" (his words not mine) and then I was born. He left/they broke up/ hasn't been in the picture since I was TWO years old. I never think of him and never even talk about him until this day…
MAN, my heart was racing! Feelings of anxiety, pain, excitement. I was beginning to feel like this could be the real thing, like I had a sibling or even better yet, maybe finally reach out to my birth father.
Terrance told me to call him & I got nervous. Because for the first time in my life, someone was seeking me. Like wanting to know me. And I was scared.
Scared..
Terrified..
Nervous..
Anxious…
This couldn't be real. And it was a differently feeling. I already have a sister, Ingrid. She's 34 and we are 13 years a part. We are NOT close in no shape or form or fashion except that we share Gloria Bradley. I don't really know why but I just feel like I cannot relate. I never feel like I can be my true self around her and she always has been mad at me. I believe it started when I was a baby. See she was an ONLY child for 13 years and here comes this beautiful brown baby girl born on March 1st (ME OF COURSE). When I was starting school, she was graduating from high school so she had to do a lot of taking care of me and things of that nature. I feel like that also put a burden on our relationship before it started. Anyway, the point is we weren't really close so reaching out and communicating with my brother was definitely something that I feared because I could not take TWO heart breaks from my older siblings.
When I tell you TJ (Terrance) is the MOST AMAZING PERSON I ever met. And I haven't even met him yet. He reminds me so much of myself and it is a pleasure that I am getting this chance to know. Of course, we have missed some time in each other's lives but I vow to not miss anything else. I finally feel like I BELONG. I KNOW I AM WELCOMED IN HIS LIFE AND I KNOW THAT HE LOVES HIS BABY SISTER. It's a different between the love of a spouse and the love of a sibling. Like I've only had a brother for a month but he just doesn't know that I will do anything for him. We are 12 years a part and he is already becoming my bestfriend (don't tell Mikele lol). I love my brother unconditionally without hesitation or reservation.
When I tell you how amazing this feeling is: HAPPINESS.
This relationship is a testimony in that God is not done with my life and her heard my cry!
Let me tell you the timeline:
December 2015: Told my boyfriend about my last name
December 28 2015: Texted Ingrid and asked her about meeting up because I was in Dallas
December 31 2015: Cried in church and prayed that God showed me the way to get closer to my sibling and build a healthy relationship between us. "God order my steps because I don't know what to do and I just need your support in guide on how to work on my relationship with my sister. Show me a sign that what I am doing is working. "
January 6 2015: Terrance sent me a message inquiring about my name/birth father
January 8 2015: Finds out Terrance is in fact my OLDER BROTHER
January 29 2015: Going to ATL to meet my brother. ♥
God is not done with me yet! Finding out I had a brother has really changed my thinking of a lot of things. One of those is that, I know I always have someone I can count on, someone to share my secrets with me, and confide in. I think I met my brother at the right time because if I would have known him all my life, I might not appreciate him and enjoy his conversations as much as I do. He just don't know how much I needed this relationship in my life. I'm ready for my wedding so my brother can be a groomsmen, when I have my baby then can go stay with their Uncle TJ, those endless trips to Atlanta to visit him and Nikki, and just call him everyday and talking about nothing.
All my life I needed Terrance as my big brother & Terrance always needed Shauntai as his little sister.
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