Going Out On Friday Night In Your 20’s As Told By “The Hills”

The Hills pretty much exemplified every Friday night — except the people were prettier, the places were more exclusive, and Lauren Conrad was not your best friend.

1. 4:30pm: The Work Week Is Nearly Done

And only alcohol will help.

2. 5:12pm: Deciding On Your Outfit For The Night

Are heels too much for after work drinks? But what if we go out after? Should I redo my hair? Decision, decisions.

3. 6:07pm: The First Drinks Are Poured

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Oh alcohol… how you make my life better.

4. 7:28pm: A Few Drinks In And Everyones In A Good Mood

This is a great time! Tonight is going to be great! This is a great place.

5. 8:00pm: Your Newly Single Frienemy Turns Up

Great now I have a few hours of listening about her boring life.

6. 9:06pm: The First Round Of Shots Come Out.

Sing it with me - Shots, Shots, Shots, Shots, Shots

7. 9:42pm: Get Your Best Pose On — It’s Photo Time

Then for everyone to post it on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter.

8. 10:18pm: Someone Recommends Moving To A New Trendy Bar

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I love these tiny exclusive bars with a huge line up. Lets Go!

9. 11:00pm: Your Friend’s Cousin’s Roomate Shows Up

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I am not kissing some random guy who has joined our group just because I’m single.

10. 11:45pm: You Run Into Someone You Went To High School With

I haven’t seen you for 7 years - but BFFs for life!

11. 12:24am You Meet A Nice Guy At The Bar

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Or am I just too drunk to realise what he looks like and when the lights come on I will run the opposite way?

12. 12:49am: We Are The Coolest People Here! Woooo!

We are sooo much fun, you look soooo pretty, we are the best!

13. 1:18am: One Of Your Friends Decides To Have A Drunk Heart-To-Heart

There is crying, hugging and conversation topics I want nothing to do with.

14. 1:53am: You See A Couple Doing More Than Kissing On The Dancefloor

Seriously get a room!

15. 2:21am: You Watch In Horror As Two “Friends” Get In A Huge Fight Over Nothing

I can’t comprehend what this is about, but I cant stop watching.

16. 2:47am: Time To Hit The DFloor

Time to get your best Beyoncé moves out.

17. 3:14am: You’ve Danced, You’ve Drank Way Too Much, Yet You Haven’t Kissed A Single Person

Screw you guys - I am going home.

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