1. If you steal, have the decency to leave something behind.
2. Forbidden love must always be kept a secret.
3. Sometimes the best solution...
...is to run away.
4. Never shoot an intern.
5. If someone ruins your life be sure to politely let them know.
6. Blowing bubbles is an acceptable answer to anything.
7. Navigational skills are a necessity.
8. Never give up appreciating the extraordinary.
9. If you're going to be pretentious, wear a beret.
10. Defenestration is an effective way to make your point.
11. Anything that you see everyday can become boring, even sea mammals.
12. Firing weaponry must be done with proper ear protection.
13. Delicious breakfast foods should always be consumed immediately.
14. Spying on others is sometimes necessary.
15. Grandparents are full of unbridled wisdom.
16. Morgue cream can truly work miracles.
17. When giving up remove your shoes and socks for maximum effect.
18. Physical fitness and calisthenics are always a priority.
19. Fight your own battles, even if adults don't want you to.
20. Never be too shy to dance in your underwear.
21. Investing in a family flag is not a bad idea.
22. We've all been there, deal with it.
23. Sexuality is fluid.
24. Always get consent.
25. Never give up on catching your train.
26. Despite warnings from the AMA cigarettes and falconry are both rather cool.
27. Always assemble a team.
28. Chopping down trees can be most therapeutic, especially when alcohol is involved.
29. If you have bad news to deliver just spit it out.
30. We all look like assholes sometimes.
31. CPR is a very useful thing to know.
32. Putting a couch anywhere usually works, even on a boat.
33. When hiding under a tent make sure said tent is secured to the ground.
34. Always suit up properly.
35. If Bill Murray pulls up in an automobile get in.
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