From this Friday you will be able to go down the new slide that has been attached to the ArcelorMittal Orbit (the Orbit is that London Olympic Park sculpture that looks like an upside-down drunk saxophone).
It's only when you're at the top that you realise how tall the slide actually is, not to mention the number of twists you will experience before reaching the bottom.
Here's what it looks like from the top.
Sorry about my puzzled "this is a serious slide" facial expression.
Before you go on to the slide you have to put on a helmet and some sleeves, for safety reasons.
Because going down the slide is bloody quick and oh my fucking god it was intense (NSFW language).
The slide starts pleasantly enough. You begin by making one big rotation downwards. There's also a bit of light coming in from the windows above you to ease you into it, but then you make a sharp turn and well...fall. Violently.
You do the natural thing and scream.
You really scream. Because you are British.
This is what my face looked like when I went down the slide. I apologise again for my language and face.
My face really looked terrible here.
"Hello. I would like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn."
You don't really slow down until the very end, so you fly out the end like a man who is an adult who is really enjoying a slide as much as a child.
Writing a review of a slide is really quite hard. That's why critics stick to restaurants.