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    This Is What It Is Like To Go Down The World's Tallest And Newest Slide

    The ArcelorMittal Orbit slide opens this Friday in East London, so we decided to give it a go. Basically.... weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!

    by ,

    From this Friday you will be able to go down the new slide that has been attached to the ArcelorMittal Orbit (the Orbit is that London Olympic Park sculpture that looks like an upside-down drunk saxophone).

    Matthew Tucker / BuzzFeed

    The slide is designed by renowned Belgian artist Carsten Holler. At 178 metres long, the slide twists and turns from the top of Sir Anish Kapoor's Orbit to the ground, with riders reaching speeds of nearly 15 miles an hour. You might be sitting there right now thinking, "PAH, that speed and length don't sound like a mega slide to me at all."

    It's only when you're at the top that you realise how tall the slide actually is, not to mention the number of twists you will experience before reaching the bottom.

    Matthew Tucker / BuzzFeed
    Matthew Tucker / BuzzFeed
    Matthew Tucker / BuzzFeed

    Here's what it looks like from the top.

    Matthew Tucker / BuzzFeed
    Matthew Tucker / BuzzFeed

    Sorry about my puzzled "this is a serious slide" facial expression.

    Before you go on to the slide you have to put on a helmet and some sleeves, for safety reasons.

    Matthew Tucker / BuzzFeed

    There's no other way to say this. I really look like a tit at this angle.

    You're also given a bit of a briefing about the best way to position yourself while going down the slide, including your neck. Yes, this is the angle I was told to do.

    When you're given these instructions you have the tendency to say "uh-huh" an awful lot. The instructions make total sense seconds later.

    Because going down the slide is bloody quick and oh my fucking god it was intense (NSFW language).

    The slide starts pleasantly enough. You begin by making one big rotation downwards. There's also a bit of light coming in from the windows above you to ease you into it, but then you make a sharp turn and well...fall. Violently.

    You do the natural thing and scream.

    You really scream. Because you are British.

    And screaming is what all British people do on slides.

    If you didn't click on the video here is my commentary: "See you latterrrrrrrrrrrr ohhhh myyyyyyyy gooooddddddd bloodddyyyyy hellllll this is ridiculous bloooodddddyyyyyy heeelllllll ffffuuuuccckkkkk FUCK.... HELLO."

    This is what my face looked like when I went down the slide. I apologise again for my language and face.


    My face really looked terrible here.

    "Hello. I would like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn."


    The weird thing is that even though the video and the slide is 30 seconds long, it feels much, much longer. In fact, when you feel like you've been in it forever you see the light through the top and you notice that you're only halfway down.

    You don't really slow down until the very end, so you fly out the end like a man who is an adult who is really enjoying a slide as much as a child.

    Matthew Tucker / BuzzFeed
    Matthew Tucker / BuzzFeed

    Writing a review of a slide is really quite hard. That's why critics stick to restaurants.

    Oh and make sure you check out the view btw.

    Matthew Tucker / BuzzFeed

    So shiny and lovely and London and 2012 and DANNY BOYLE and "wasn't the Summer Olympics well better than the summer of 2016 my god it was."

    You can book to go down the slide at the ArcelorMittal Orbit website. Tickets start from £15 in advance, which includes one ride of the slide.

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