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Don't Try To Make Your Own Homemade Creme Eggs Because It's More Trouble Than It's Worth

You should just go to the shops and spend 50p instead.

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You might have seen in the news last week that Creme Egg sales have fallen after a recipe change.

https://www.flickr.com/photos/abulhussain/4737794941/in/photolist-8dErnF-7ucmMF-7RgNYX-ce3mC3-9DN7aR-zJeL4T-e7tfDK-4DPzLb-dZQaNi-4vX3ks-aypvR-6xA3Rq-ayptv-jjesp-7JTryj-7PLbEn-jy6CjG-4mFU4c-7JTfnQ-9y2etW-4KpVLS-5WGPY7-7NvBha-7NvC9z-7NvAsH-ccX4uf-64KQvD-BbR3G-6aj1Vc-8ckR7h-bwtNLV-9EfUds-7EAVyS-dvTKJ-4AJQSg-68Xr61-E3QKB-4nsyLd-bHN4ui-4A63kk-4PZUxQ-4DKk3F-4mBr1q-611mN9-dbwZc6-5E6EG3-4DKmLp-m7pBzv-4DPCeU-e7st12

According to The Grocer magazine and analyst IRI, sales of Creme Eggs fell by £6 million last year after the recipe was changed to a cheaper alternative.

Cadbury's owner, Mondelez, said that the fall of sales had nothing to do with this and said that “the fundamentals of Cadbury Creme Egg remain exactly the same”.

Well, never fear: This Morning showed us how to make Creme Eggs at home that taste like the old recipe, according to chocolatier Paul Young.

It seems reasonably straightforward: All you do is melt some chocolate, put it into a mould, add some fondant, a hell of a lot of food colouring, and E-N-J-O-Y.So I decided to give the recipe a go. What could possibly go wrong?
itv.com

It seems reasonably straightforward: All you do is melt some chocolate, put it into a mould, add some fondant, a hell of a lot of food colouring, and E-N-J-O-Y.

So I decided to give the recipe a go. What could possibly go wrong?

A warning: I am not a good baker. I once tried baking every single technical challenge from Bake Off.

Scott Bryan / BuzzFeed
Love Productions / BBC

Let's just say I had mixed results. And no, stop asking me, that is not kale on the left.

However, this Creme Egg recipe had few ingredients and looked straightforward, so I thought that it wouldn't be hard to make at home.

Boom. That's the ingredients.I should use this opportunity to tell you right here, right now, that I encountered two problems and fucked up before I even started making my Creme Eggs.
itv.com

Boom. That's the ingredients.

I should use this opportunity to tell you right here, right now, that I encountered two problems and fucked up before I even started making my Creme Eggs.

Problem one: I realised that I had bought fondant icing sugar, NOT fondant icing, so I acted instinctively and pretended that I didn't realise.

Problem two: I couldn't find an egg mould to put the Creme Egg mixture into, because Easter is still three months away. I tried multiple stores and I didn't wish to order it on the internet and wait for delivery.As you will see, not having the mould was the biggest mistake. I should have waited. But when I started baking I was still really confident that I was going to do really well.
Scott Bryan / BuzzFeed

Problem two: I couldn't find an egg mould to put the Creme Egg mixture into, because Easter is still three months away. I tried multiple stores and I didn't wish to order it on the internet and wait for delivery.

As you will see, not having the mould was the biggest mistake. I should have waited. But when I started baking I was still really confident that I was going to do really well.

And as the recipe was on This Morning, I had a picture of Phillip Schofield nearby to inspire me.

Scott Bryan / BuzzFeed

I started. I broke and melted the chocolate in the pan thingy until my flat smelled like Cadbury World.

Scott Bryan / BuzzFeed
Scott Bryan / BuzzFeed

However, it then got confusing because the recipe told me to "pour two-thirds of the chocolate on to a large marble surface". I didn't have a large marble surface or, come to think about it, any thick surface.

So I put it on some paper and did it on the floor.

Scott Bryan / BuzzFeed

I was then told by my partner that our underfloor heating was on so the chocolate wouldn't solidify, so I moved the baking experience from the warm kitchen to the cold bathroom.

Legal disclaimer: At no point did the mixture touch the bathroom floor and I washed my hands throughout this bake, so please do not sue me.Heating disclaimer: Yes, I have underfloor heating. I have no shame. If you come round to my house one time you will love it. You need to be invited though.
Scott Bryan / BuzzFeed

Legal disclaimer: At no point did the mixture touch the bathroom floor and I washed my hands throughout this bake, so please do not sue me.

Heating disclaimer: Yes, I have underfloor heating. I have no shame. If you come round to my house one time you will love it. You need to be invited though.

When the mixture was nearly solid, I mixed it with some more melted chocolate in my possession and carefully put it into these moulds.

These are cupcake moulds.I then put the mixture into the fridge for, like, 20 minutes but it did not harden at all, so I shoved it into the freezer (after moving some oven chips).
Scott Bryan / BuzzFeed

These are cupcake moulds.

I then put the mixture into the fridge for, like, 20 minutes but it did not harden at all, so I shoved it into the freezer (after moving some oven chips).

I then made the yellow Creme Egg mixture, which is basically a fuckload of icing sugar and food colouring.

I checked on the freezer and realised that the chocolate had completely solidified, and there was no space for the filling. Something had to be done.Why? Because if I had left it like it was it would have turned into a hamburger.
Scott Bryan / BuzzFeed

I checked on the freezer and realised that the chocolate had completely solidified, and there was no space for the filling. Something had to be done.

Why? Because if I had left it like it was it would have turned into a hamburger.

So I intricately carved a filling out like this.

I then realised that my chocolate was completely stuck to the mould, so I put it on the floor so it could melt a bit with the underfloor heating on. After a knife and some swears, the chocolate came out.
Scott Bryan / BuzzFeed

I then realised that my chocolate was completely stuck to the mould, so I put it on the floor so it could melt a bit with the underfloor heating on.

After a knife and some swears, the chocolate came out.

All I needed to do was add the yellow and white filling.

Not sure how I could do it to the bottom-right one though.
Scott Bryan / BuzzFeed

Not sure how I could do it to the bottom-right one though.

And alas, 15 minutes later.

Scott Bryan / BuzzFeed

I tweeted how happy I was now that it was over.

Here are my six finished Creme Eggs. What a fucking waste of time.

What was on This Morning is on the left of this picture. What I made is on the right of this picture.

http://www.itv.com/thismorning/hot-topics/chocolate-fondant-eggs-paul-a-young-recipe
Scott Bryan / BuzzFeed

Yes, if I had a mould it would have looked a bit more like an egg, but still, it looks quite shite.

There was also an awful lot of Creme Egg mixture left over, and I didn't know what to do with it.

Creme Egg update: we can't put the leftover mixture down the sink because it might block it so we're putting it down the toilet

Half an hour later, an update.

After much consideration we have not put it down the toilet

I then took the Creme Eggs to work and presented them on a kitchen table for my colleagues to try.

I also left some feedback forms nearby, and then I quickly abandoned the scene.
Scott Bryan / BuzzFeed

I also left some feedback forms nearby, and then I quickly abandoned the scene.

I then read the feedback, and holy hell, the responses were actually really quite surprisingly positive.

One comment summed it all up: "They are really good. I mean, Cadbury's are better and don't look like a crushed oozing poo, but it's still delicious."
Scott Bryan / BuzzFeed

One comment summed it all up: "They are really good. I mean, Cadbury's are better and don't look like a crushed oozing poo, but it's still delicious."

But which tastes better? Cadbury's Creme Eggs or my ones? Introducing colleagues Rachael and Ellie.

I got them to wear hats like this so they couldn't see anything (they don't usually work like this). I gave them both sets of eggs without telling them which was which and asked them what one they preferred.
Laura Gallant / BuzzFeed

I got them to wear hats like this so they couldn't see anything (they don't usually work like this). I gave them both sets of eggs without telling them which was which and asked them what one they preferred.

A Cadbury's Creme Egg was given to them first.

Rachael (left): “These remind me of the ones I used to have just after Christmas. Not at all too sweet. It’s nice.”Ellie (right): "It's nice. This is so good."
Laura Gallant / BuzzFeed

Rachael (left): “These remind me of the ones I used to have just after Christmas. Not at all too sweet. It’s nice.”

Ellie (right): "It's nice. This is so good."

And then they tasted one of my Creme Eggs.

Rachael: "I like this one a lot less. It lacks what the other one had. It's too sugary."Ellie: "It's gritty. There's too much sugar in it. You can't distinguish between the chocolate and the filling at all, which isn't nice."YAY, I FAAAAILLLLLLEEEEEDDDD!!!!!!!!! And even if I had won, I would have been quite doubtful anyway. Why? Well, let's talk about the cost of this shit.
Laura Gallant / BuzzFeed

Rachael: "I like this one a lot less. It lacks what the other one had. It's too sugary."

Ellie: "It's gritty. There's too much sugar in it. You can't distinguish between the chocolate and the filling at all, which isn't nice."

YAY, I FAAAAILLLLLLEEEEEDDDD!!!!!!!!! And even if I had won, I would have been quite doubtful anyway. Why? Well, let's talk about the cost of this shit.

Perspex bowl + mixing bowl + chocolate + food colouring + icing sugar + spoons + two hours trying to find the right mould + cupcake mould = £37.64.

This made six Creme Eggs. Larger than the real thing, yes, but still only six.If you made this for the second time and you only needed, let's say, the chocolate and the fondant icing, it would still set you back £9.01 every time.
Laura Gallant / BuzzFeed

This made six Creme Eggs. Larger than the real thing, yes, but still only six.

If you made this for the second time and you only needed, let's say, the chocolate and the fondant icing, it would still set you back £9.01 every time.

Meanwhile at my local Tesco...

Scott Bryan / BuzzFeed

So even though it tastes as good as the real thing, don't bother. Especially if you have underfloor heating.

Laura Gallant / BuzzFeed