1. Don’t live with the birds.
It's important to know your comfort zone for one reason and one reason only… to figure out how to step out of it. Assume you're a metaphorical thirty something year old living with your parents in a super cute metaphorical cottage. Why are you thirty and still living with your parents? Probably because they're fantastic people and you love them, HOWEVER, is it possible you might also be afraid to venture off on your own? Probably. Now assume your parents are metaphorical birds and you have always hated birds. Now what happens? Well, you're living with metaphorical birds in a cottage and there is probably some awesome concert going on that you're missing because of the horrifyingly human-like birds. Stepping out of your comfort zone can help you to discover tons of interesting new things and perhaps it can help further your path to self discovery. Take risks and become comfortable with what makes you uncomfortable. AVOID METAPHORICAL BIRDS!!!!!
2. Be original… or not!
In saying "or not," I am not implying that you buy a book, copy the book, publish your copy of the book and get arrested. What you should do is stop focusing on the terrifying baggage that comes with the idea of being unoriginal. This world has been thriving for an EXTREMELY long time and sometimes it's impossible to do something that hasn't already been done. Don't stress about what's already been done, but instead focus on what you like to do. If you can write your own novel and feel instantly satisfied that's fantastic. However, something like this isn't always necessary to make yourself feel happy. Sometimes writing the exact lyrics to ***Flawless by Beyoncé can feel satisfying and that's totally okay.
3. Tell yourself you’re super cool!
If you wake up and instantly fill your head with thoughts along the lines of "Oh my god my life is terrible. I'm going to die eventually. School sucks. American Idol isn't even fun to watch anymore. Why am I even awake? Ugh," then it's obvious your day is going to be worse than knockoff Sylvia Plath poetry. If you wake up, look in the mirror and fill the bathroom with gross-yet-oddly-fulfilling teen clichés, you'll have a fantastic day and you'll feel like a superstar. Wake up and say, "I look so good. I'm seriously so cool." Literally say it out loud. Confidence is a great feature to have and if you believe you're awesome, other people will as well. Complimenting yourself is not selfish; you're allowed to be proud of who you are.
4. Live with chronic constipation.
Not literal grotesque constipation, but emotional constipation. After teaching yourself that you're the coolest superstar on this earth, it may seem hard to accept the fact that life does have its downsides. While having a huge crush on yourself does turn you into a full time optimist, everyone experiences bad days. Sadness comes and goes and almost every bad feeling can be dealt with. You have to accept that even though you're a top notch superhuman who is fantastic in every way, things will occasionally make you sad. Things like this pass and perhaps if you're having a hard time it will help to talk it out. Don't be afraid of your own feelings.
5. Get naked.
Okay don't strip down in front of everyone, PLEASE. But, it is imperative that you are comfortable in your own skin. If you spend a lot time with yourself, make it a point to look in the mirror a lot. We were all crafted separately and due to that we all have our own individual features. It is important to come to terms with these features. If you don't like your legs, guess what? They're your legs made just for you and you should stare at them for as long as it takes until you realize your legs are REALLY nice. It's crucial to know and appreciate your own body.
6. I, [your name here], AM REALLY FREAKIN’ COOL!
People who are bitter clearly don't have crushes on themselves. Those are the people who will be metaphorical birds when they grow up. Worry about yourself and ignore animadversions from others. You are who you are and that's the cliché you need to remember. Does Beyoncé care if people think she's stuck up or self absorbed? NO! Should you? NO! Confidence is not a crime. Accept yourself and all the baggage that carried through with your creation and you will undoubtedly love yourself more than anyone else.
7.
Some magical scientists somewhere in this magical universe have calculated the probability of being born. Fun fact, the chances of being born on the exact date at the exact time with the exact genes that you have is 1:400,000,000,000. That means there was a one in four hundred trillion percent chance that you would be created. Clearly you were created with a purpose, and it would be an extreme disservice to the universe if you spent your one in four hundred million life putting yourself down. Have a crush on yourself so you can discover your purpose and rightfully put your worth to use in a way that makes you happy.
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