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Or should I say, which Clara-cteristic fits you best?

Which Clara Are You?

(notice how the question was phrased so as to avoid using a dangling preposition)

And finally...

You're the Clara who's the SPBoss of all the little SPBabies on the SPBoard. All of the SPBears of Wash U know that we have you to thank for SPBringing the SPBest performers to campus so we can all drink SPBoxed water and have an SPBall. All your little SPBitches better SPBow down to you, because today is your SPBirthday!!! Now go pop some SPBubbly and get SPBlackout.

Clara the SPBoss

You're not only one of the baddest bitches around, you're also one half of the baddest identical twin duo of all time: Clara and Jessie. (Classie? Jesra?) Like Fred and George Weasley, it can be hard to tell you two apart, and sometimes even you can’t identify yourself in baby pictures (but you always know that the cutest one is you). But most of all, you have lifelong, unbreakable love for those who mean the world to you, especially your family. So happy birthday Jessie! ...oh wait shit, I mean Clara. Happy birthday Clara!!

Clara the Twin

Remember the night this picture was taken? You probably don't. But I sure do! You're the Clara who pops champagne even when there's nothing to celebrate and who doesn't mind taking a mystery pepto-bismol colored shot from a bartender who clearly has no idea what you're trying to order. But today's your birthday, so go order some mimosas with brunch, margaritas with dinner, and finish the night with a bottle of Dom!! (or cheaper champagne... that would be okay too.)

#tooturnt Clara

Look at little Clara in her sunglasses thinking she's so cool. But let's face it, not even that blingy gold chain around your neck can cover up the fact that you're wearing a t-shirt from band camp and playing a xylophone. You're the Clara who flaunts the fact that she plays the piccolo and can name 180 out of the top 200 characters in Harry Potter. I guess we should just call you... Clar-ry Potter. (That was a great pun and no I'm not going to apologize for it)

Nerd Clara

You're the Clara who spends her summer in Buenos Aires, visiting museums, tasting delicious food (i.e. dulce de leche), and \*shudders\* taking classes. Someone wants to plop you into a foreign country whose language you don't speak? No problem, you're a pro at learning on the job. Have a couple of extra hours to kill? The 'International' section of Netflix is calling your name. Subtitles? For the weak.

Cultured Clara

You're the Clara who hates movies with fewer than five female characters as a matter of principle, and who will debate fiercely with anyone who tries to convince you otherwise (you'll also give a very impassioned answer to anyone foolish enough to ask you what the Bechdel Test is). You're #ReadyforHillary to come and finally put a woman in the Oval, plus it doesn't hurt that your sis has a prof pic that looks just like her. So kick back, relax, and send Clayton to the kitchen to make you a sandwich, because today is your birthday!! (But even if it weren't your birthday you could still send him to the kitchen because feminism.)

Feminist Clara

Ahh, the legendary Clayra. You’re the only two people who can keep up a Snapchat streak over 100 days (even when you're continents apart), with snaps so adorable they put puppies to shame. Dory would be lost without Marlin, and Marlin would just be stuck watching silly action movies without Dory. And while the world may never know who that Keating sweatshirt truly belongs to (I mean I’ve never seen Clayton wear it, so it must be Clara’s, right?), everyone knows it’s no coincidence that your names combine even better than Brangelina or Billary. Clayra is bae-ra (sorry I know that was bad and doesn't even make sense).

Clayra

Hipster glasses? Check. Playlists with music no one has ever heard of? Of course. You're the Clara who refuses to do anything touristy in San Francisco because it's "too mainstream" and instead prefers to stroll from one hipster coffeeshop to the next in your hipster high-waisted shorts while drinking fancy hipster coffee (Starbucks? What's that?). You went all the way to Argentina to take classes because you're way too cool to take summer classes at Wash U with everyone else, and you even took a trip to Ushuaia, which is so far South that it hasn't yet been plagued by mainstream tourism. Or maybe the tourists aren't flocking to Ushuaia because no one has ever heard of fucking Ushuaia.

Hipster Clara

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Which Clara Are You?

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