42 Thoughts You Will Have While Driving In Los Angeles
A funny tale of what it's really like driving in LA. Brace yourselves.
1. Today will be fine. It won't be bad. We're good, we're ok, look just get out of the driveway. Oh dear lord.
2. Ok, alright that wasn't as bad as it could've been. Someone could've flipped you off for even daring to back out.
3. So apparently this dude over here thinks this lane is empty. Yoooo it's not!
4. SIR. SIR. SIR. DO YOU SEE ME SIR?!
5. Nope naw. Definitely did not see me yeah he thought this lane was empty.
6. Just kidding he totally just flipped me off. Nice. Go have some coffee sir. A lot of it.
7. Casualty number one could've been a lot worse. I mean he could've like gotten out of his car. And karate chopped me.
8. Alright, gonna make my left turn yellow is about to turn red, cool. HEY! HEEYEYEYYYYEY! Stop that! Why? You stop that right now it's red! Nope they went.
9. Drivers who run lights be like "Oh, you dead? Sorry."
10. Hahahahahah ok I'm pretty darn hilarious. I was great in that one. Didn't even have my coffee yet.
11. I wonder if I could get a speaker on the top of my car. So that I can yell at all the stupid.
12. Seriously. Some of my insults are too good to go unheard, they need to know. And real talk I'm just too funny.
13. Actually that could be a fiasco. That played out in my head for a second there. *shudder* Better not.
14. We understand that we cannot drive smack in the middle of two lanes and just call them yours right?
15. This is not kindergarten when everyone asks for your snacks so you lick it and go: "Want some?"
16. There you go, back to your lane.Not so bad huh buddy?
17. Nooo that does not mean get hella close to my car when we're side by side!
18. Ah. They have now remembered they need to suddenly make a right turn that explains it. That was a nice mind fuck.
19. Car door thrown open. REPEAT CAR DOOR HAS BEEN FLUNG OPEN INTO YOUR LANE. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
20. That was fun. Thank goodness the lane next to me was open. Thank you lane.
21. Ok we have now gone an entire mile with no incident. This is pretty great.
22. Oh. OH! You just want my lane? You're gonna cut me off now aren't you?
23. Yeah, no please. Yep cut me off not like I was in this lane or anything. Nope totally wasn't.
24. Can we talk about this for a second? Do they just not see me? Do they mean to rude? What?!
25. I'm not that bad am I?
26. I'm not. I'm totally not. I'm the ONLY good driver in LA everyone else is just reeeaallly bad.
27. That's right, exactly. I'm the only one.
28. At least I'm close to work at this point.
29. Oh GAWD. I'm gonna have to do this again when I leave?! Noooooo.
30. Awkward. It's only Monday. Crap.
31. Woop! Got to work!
32. Wow, That was a long one. Got a lot done though!
33. Alright into the car we go. Pep talk. Pep talk!
34. Aaaannnnnd traffic. A lot of it. I though people in LA barely worked though? Who are you people?
35. It's been three lights! I've moved exactly 5 and a half inches.
36. Stoplight 6 of captivity. I have now moved exactly seven inches.
37. Bright side is that because we can all hardly move nobody can cut me off at this time. Haha!
38. No. No. No. We were wrong. Nope they still managed. Real talk? How. HOW? How did you manage to cut me off within the foot and a half between me and another car?
39. They should put that on their resume. Impressive.
40. So close. So clooooose!
41. Home. Home!
42. I'm never driving again.
Until tomorrow.
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