A Basic Job Guide For Basic Betches

Because cubicles are just so... Basic.

1. Essie Nail Color Imagineer

How dare someone call your nail color 'light pink' it's 'Limo-Scene.' Obviously.

2. Part-Time Yoga Instructor

A job requiring Lululemon? You're so in.

3. Social Media 'Professional'

Honestly, the picture of the avocado toast you had for breakfast was filtered to perfection.

4. Soul Cycle Receptionist

Employees get a discount, right?

5. App Brainstormer

I mean, you blatantly came up with the idea for Tinder like five years ago.

6. Celeb Nutritionist

You are personally responsible for helping to keep Kim K's ass just the right size.

7. Full Time Blogger

Starbucks is basically your home office.

8. House Wife in Training

The nutella-filled chocolate chip cookies you just made and instagrammed scream 'wife material!'

9. Blake Lively's Personal Assistant

Self-Explanatory.

10. Lauren Conrad's Personal Assistant

Again, need we say more.

11. Engagement Ring Consultant

You're thinking of getting her a single-mounted princess cut .5 carat diamond? You might as well get her a ring pop.

12. Maid of Honor for Hire

Let's be real, your taste is f*cking impeccable.

13. Assistant Buyer

It doesn't even matter what you're buying, you're just good at buying things.

14. Office Manager

People are literally still talking about the office Christmas party you organized.

15. PR Intern

At an event last week, you were like 4 feet away from Ryan Gosling. And you got a selfie with half of his left ear in the frame.

16. Advice Columnist

You fully believe honesty is ALWAYS the best policy.