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    We Need To Talk About Pop-Tart Commercials And Their Homicidal Tendencies

    Just because I'm going to eat the Pop-Tart, doesn't make sugary murder okay. #traumatized4lyfe

    I don't ask much from breakfast food commercials.

    In fact, I'm indifferent to them. But when Pop-Tart children start to get devoured on screen...I'm only slightly disturbed, ja feel?

    These Pop-Tart friends of ours just wanted to take some cute Photo-booth pics - nothing to see here folks.

    patentspatented.blogspot.com / Via blogger.com

    They were probably on a date or something. Have fun, you crazy kids.

    Look at their innocence.

    But soon...

    patentspatented.blogspot.com / Via blogger.com

    ...something isn't right.

    WHAT?!?!!!

    WHY?!!

    THINK OF THE CHILDREN. These cartoon people are the stuff of nightmares. RUN AWAY Pop-Tarts!!! Flee!!! On your...Pop-Tart legs...

    Why are Pop-Tarts bamboozled so easily?

    Why are the cartoon versions of us so cruel and scheming??

    youtube.com / Via i.ytimg.com

    Okay real-life versions of us are the same, but that's a different post all together.

    (those people are holding toasters...TOASTSTSTERRSSS)

    SERioUsLy, look at that same hapless yodeler-Pop-Tart.

    When will the injustices stop?

    ispot.tv / Via d6u22qyv3ngwz.cloudfront.net

    THAT'S NOT A SPA BATH NOOOooOOOO

    This lizard is helping a Pop-Tart hide from the murderous-cartoon-people.

    ispot.tv / Via d6u22qyv3ngwz.cloudfront.net

    PSYCHEEEEEE LOOK CLOSER HE'S IN A TOASTER. A TOASTER!!!!

    To be fair though, the lizard was already eating a Pop-Tart, so our friend (the gullible Pop-Tart) should have used some room context-clues. Jsay.

    Now the lizard is tricking this fan-girl Pop-Tart into her fav band's tour bus. JUST KIDDING IT'S A TOASTER!

    tumblr.com / Via tumblr.com

    Seriously, this lizard is beyond being a super-sleuth. He's downright Slytherin.

    But tbh, I'm a bit partial to the lizard.

    He's a star:

    And that band's "tour bus?" Take a closer look:

    tumblr.com / Via tumblr.com

    What's that???

    WAHTTTTT

    But back to Pop-Tart annihilation.

    levidepoches.fr / Via assets.econsultancy.com

    Some stick-figure-people will stop at nothing.

    In this commercial, the cartoon-murderess fools the poor Pop-Tarts into thinking she's kind and giving - she offers them delicious soda.

    ispot.tv / Via d6u22qyv3ngwz.cloudfront.net

    She's changed, right? She's different!

    NOPE YOU WERE WRONG WE WERE ALL WRONG - SHE DROWNS THEM IN THE VERY SODA SHE'S GOING TO EAT THEM WITH

    youtube.com

    "Can't hold your soda, boys?" she says this, she actually says this with a knife and fork in her hands.

    But that's nothing compared to what's to come.

    charismanews.com / Via charismanews.com

    A jar of peanut butter and a jar of jelly, in love, cooing over their newborn child (who is a Pop-Tart, but that's not important).

    NOPE HAPPY ENDING OVER BECAUSE WHAT EVEN??!!!

    There are no words.

    eonline.com / Via eonline.com

    The worst of the worst.

    I think we all know who the Final Boss in this Pop-Tart video game is. And I'm not sure how we're supposed to defeat her, fam.

    brandan97.deviantart.com / Via img05.deviantart.net

    The lizard is wrongly framed.

    Something has to be done.

    Look, if you're into seeing personified foods getting eaten alive, check out a Krave commercial and maybe those Lays Mr. Potato Head ones while you're at it...I guess we ourselves end up eating them too, but that's just besides the point.

    I'm taking a stand for the victimized Pop-Tarts. These loyal breakfast foods shouldn't be so easily tricked into such torturous situations with no way out.

    They can easily just come into my toaster, where I'll make things a lot less savage. Wait what.

    Okay, maaaaybe Pop-Tarts getting devoured is a little bit unavoidable.

    And maaaaybe I'm a part of the problem. Don't let this post fool you: Pop-Tarts are downright delicious.

    Kellogg's - your commercials are telling no lies. We are the murderous and unrelenting cartoon people. And we might as well admit to it now.

    Although I might have spared that baby Pop-Tart. I'm not a monster, sheesh.

    In the meantime - keep living your dreams, Pop-Tarts.

    ispot.tv / Via d6u22qyv3ngwz.cloudfront.net

    While you still can.

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