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Eight Things I Can Thank My Exes For

Other than the obvious THANKS FOR NOTHING.

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5. My more thorough understanding of human stupidity


One time my ex-boyfriend pocket-dialed me, accidentally left me a voicemail in which he was talking shit about me, and then denied the whole thing. THANKS FOR THE LIFE LESSON ON LIARS, CAMERON.

6. Similarly, my intolerance for bullshit


You know how people always say they're going to change and you kinda wanna believe them? You shouldn't. But sometimes you gots to learn about bullshit the hard way.

8. And, most importantly, my current levels of happiness


Without all of you in my past, I wouldn't be where I am now...and where I am now RULEZ. So all in all: thanks for breaking up with me; I only hate some of you; have a nice life; kthxbye.

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