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Honestly just leave us alone we're gonna be fine we're gonna join clubs and do yoga tomorrow

WHICH JONES GIRL ARE YOU WHEN YOU DRINK?

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You're a fun and slightly aggressive drunk. You love to pretend you're pledge master and haze your friends, and sometimes you get so belligerent that you may even try to fight. You have a smooth Hotline Bling dance and you can hit really high notes in songs that everyone, including your sober self, would normally lip sync. Jell-o shots sneak attack get you lit, and you probably hook up with close friends when you black out, especially if its going to cause really awkward tension. You're always open to trying new things except for when you're not. Overall, you're really lit and probably fuck with peach champagne heavy.

You're almost always the least (or least obviously) drunk person in your group. You're fearless in your handling of your belligerently hammered friends, and often see how many spankings they'll allow you to give them when they're drunk, which you usually can't get away with when they're sober. You have distinct dance moves that make you look like a cabbage patch kid when you turn up due to your unbelievable smallness. You never black out, and you probably have a few unfinished bottles of vodka under your dorm bed that you kind of want to get rid of before you go summer in beautiful Rochester, New York.

Alana

YOU'RE HAMMERED, and you want everyone to know it. You're probably going to start referring to yourself as Queen Clio when you're drunk and bitches seem like they may be about to step to you. You consider UV Blue to be a delicacy, but no matter how many shots of it you take, you never look that ratchet because you're such a Fit-spiration. You can throw a friend that needs to be put to bed through their window and under their covers from any spot on Orchard to wherever they live on campus. Have I mentioned that you're HAMMERED? No, like you're HAMMERED.

Kendall

Congratulations, you're a really cute drunk dancer. Unless Jake Forman is grinding up on you, in which case you look more like a member of an African tribe during a harvest ritual. You sing into your microphone, and you only share it with those who are worthy of singing into it. But they can't touch it. You have a really distinct drunk voice, which can often be overheard saying, "no, I think I'm gonna stay!" if you listen closely at a party. You can also spit fire game in the club, so even more hotties come up to you than usual. You're overall a really fun drunk person but are prone to injuring your knee in the same place where it has been operated on more than once, so you have to be really careful when you leave the pregame.

Alex

Whether you're swindling Dom into ordering you food from Main Street or knocking on the RA's door at 2 in the morning to let you in because you locked yourself out of your room, you always know how to be a lit time. Your sarcasm and pettiness increase significantly when drunk but that doesn't make you any less loved. From knocking out your friends and causing them to fall down the stairs or falling off tables and getting concussed, you'll always end up in your bed the next morning dazed and confused wondering who let you get that drunk especially when you swore off drinking the night prior. You also think Albany is THEE hot spot and consider Long Island to be the "arm pit" of New York. Which causes you to believe that Pizza Pauls sheet pizza is the best pizza god has ever created. You also think that almost everything is bad for feminism and don't forget to tell everyone your vegetarian every 10 minutes or else they might forget!

Sarah

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WHICH JONES GIRL ARE YOU WHEN YOU DRINK?

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