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    Oct 2, 2015

    You Assholes Love Pumpkin Spice So Much How About You Try The Real Thing

    In which I force my colleagues to eat raw pumpkin.

    Look around you. Pumpkin is everywhere. It's omnipresent.

    This. I hate #pumpkin. I can't even imagine. #toofar

    Every autumn, every food/drink/thing pays homage to the Pumpkin God by adding the sacred Pumpkin flavor.

    This pleases us, the common people.

    Dorsey Shaw/Buzzfeed

    Surely, if everyone loves pumpkin flavoring so much, they will enjoy ACTUAL PUMPKIN?

    Dorsey Shaw/Buzzfeed

    So I sent this email to my unsuspecting colleagues:

    Sarah Burton/Buzzfeed

    Amazingly, 16 people fell for my ruse. Shortly thereafter, via the magic of peer pressure, they were forced to eat the gross, stringy part of the pumpkin.

    Chris Ritter/Buzzfeed

    Most of the reviews were not rave. Alex and Isaac:

    Dorsey Shaw/Buzzfeed

    Chelsea and Tommy:

    Dorsey Shaw/Buzzfeed

    Elaina and Brett:

    Dorsey Shaw/Buzzfeed

    Andrea and Grace:

    Dorsey Shaw/Buzzfeed

    However, there were a few ~pumpkin purists~ among them. Loryn and Jessica:

    Dorsey Shaw/Buzzfeed

    Anita and Keely:

    Dorsey Shaw/Buzzfeed

    And one who had priorities other than taste. Matt and Andrew:

    Dorsey Shaw/Buzzfeed
    Dorsey Shaw/Buzzfeed

    Here's the final total:

    Andrew Richard/Buzzfeed

    Turns out most people do not like real pumpkin. We are all so fake. Does this upset the Pumpkin God? Will He strike us down? Or in His wisdom will He allow us to survive the season, only to decimate us before the Eggnog King? Only time will tell. In the meantime, enjoy your pumpkin, sheeple.

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