1. You're always wearing what you're looking for.
me getting out Melanie car me: Mel I've lost my headphones Mel: they are on your neck I think I'm loosing it y'all. 😅
2. Your phone knows where it is more often than you do.
So I lost my phone on Friday night...
3. Losing your phone is the worst feeling in the world.
There's normal panic and then there's "I think I just lost my phone" panic
4. THE WORST.
I've never seen the show "Naked and Afraid" but I lost my cell phone on Saturday night and that's exactly how I feel.
5. And it's definitely not your fault.
" under the cat" is now number one on the list of places I've lost my wallet.
6. It's the same.
Parents who lose your kids in a store; I once lost my cell phone, for like, 5 minutes, so don't tell me I don't know what "panic" feels like
7. You often need humor to calm yourself down when you can't find anything.
DAD 911: What's your emer- DAD: LOST MY REMOTE DAD 911: Look in the couch? DAD: I'M NO AMATEUR DAD 911: Hi no amateur I'm Dad DAD: Nice
8. You see everything through the "where is it" filter.
Old guy: I lost my arm in the war Me: It's always in the last place you look
9. You wish you could put tracking info on everything you own.
*baby gets delivered* MOM: Where is my baby? I'd like to see him US POSTAL WORKER: Check tracking, I left it here, not my problem
10. You don't own anything nice because you automatically lose it.
[drunken Captain America shows up to the Avengers meeting with a trashcan lid] I lost my shield
11. Seriously, you shouldn't own nice things.
day 1: I bought a new car day 2: I have lost my car keys
12. Sometimes you think things are lost but they are really RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU.
Oh great, I lost my pet chameleon. Oh nope, never mind.
13. You see a sign of a missing dog and think "same."
MISSING DOG: -small -brown -pig-like skin -white stitching -can punt 40 yards -shaped like a football -It's a football -I lost my football
14. You know when you lose something, it's time to leave.
I party until I'm out of snacks or have or misplaced my pants. Or both.
15. You need a significant other that can find all of your misplaced belongings.
HOW TO WIN MY HEART 1 Be intelligent 2 Listen 3 Bring me a pretzel 4 Be creative 5 I was serious about that pretzel 6 Where is my pretzel?!
16. You tend to just buy new clothes rather than find the buried clothes you already have.
"Where is my good pair of underwear?" "I think the question should be: Why are not all of your underwear good?"