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How To Lose That Face Weight And Look Hot In A Facekini

You know. Bikinis for your face. And you need a tight-ass face to pull these off.

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So you wanna be a bad bitch in a facekini.

We get it. After all, it is all the rage in China. The facekini protects against the sun, keeping your skin light and youthful and safe from jellyfish stings.

China Stringer Network / Reuters

But HOW do you pull it off? It's all about a keeping off that useless head weight. Here are some tricks that will make your face feel thinner and hotter.

China Stringer Network / Reuters

1. When you stand up straight, your face appears thinner. When you slump your shoulders, you triple your chances of doubling your chin.

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2. Alcohol contains non-nutritious calories and dehydrates your body too. Dehydration can cause your face to appear bloated.

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3. Yoga poses that force your head downwards can help thin out your fat face.

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4. Working your facial muscles will help to make your face leaner.

Portrait of a businessman shouting
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Portrait of a businessman shouting

5. Sure, your face may swell initially, but if you are able to break bone, then you can reconfigure your face to be skinny at the low cost of a bottle of Advil.

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6. Your brain weighs 3 pounds. If you remove just a pound of your brain, you'll cut your head weight down ten percent.

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Did you do one of those things? Cool. Now your face in thin enough to wear these cool-ass facekinis.

Aly Song / Reuters

Enjoy lounging in the water, showing off that eye gap.

Aly Song / Reuters

And if you are feeling extra brave, try out the top-only facekini and let your chin hang loose. #badbitch

Aly Song / Reuters

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