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Here's Why The Happy Hour Debate Was So Freaking Weird

No one was there.

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The debate was sponsored by Fox News and Facebook, which is ironic since those are both things that we are all addicted to in a bad way.

The Fox News-Facebook debate event night starts right now - tune in! #GOPDebate

This is a horrifyingly familiar sight for any person who's done improv, stand up, or attended a Phillies game:

Mom? Dad? Are you here?

The #GOPDebate looks almost as empty as an ACC football championship game.

The moderators came out strong, reminding all of the candidates that they have zero chance of actually winning.

Talk about an empty stadium. lol #GOPDebate

"Why would you ever think you could win?"

"Trump is trouncing all of you, you know that?"


Then they quickly reverted to softball questions and ignoring the AP-style guide:

So I guess Fox style guide is to use "illegals" when talking about unauthorized immigrants #GOPDebate #DregsDebate

They let some random guy walk off the street and into the debate:

Hands down, Jim Gilmore won this debate with his impressive resume. #GOPDebate

Wait, is Jim Gilmore Rory's long lost dad? No? Okay then I don't know who that is.

We learned that Carly Fiorina is #1 at memorization:

Someone left their closing statement for tonight's @FoxNews debate in the hotel printer.Can you guess who?@LaCivitaC

You best believe she KNOWS how to name drop:

Carly Fiorina won the #GOPDebate name dropper award too


Rick Perry professed his fandom for That's So Ronald Raven:

Hey guys, numbers are hard:

What Happens When You Ask Candidates In The #GOPDebate For A Two-Word Answer?

Toward the end, the candidates kept getting cut off by cute bells:

The bells and dings on the #kiddietable #gopdebate sound like a game show. C'MON DOWN! @16campaignbites

Those adorable rings did nothing to stop some candidates.

Carly isn't fucking around, listening to stupid bells. She is power. Peasants stop for bells. #Carly2016 #HappyHourDebate #GOPDebate


Pataki is not interested in your puny time’s-up bells. #GOPDebate

So who won the first debate?

Who won the first #GOPDebate ? White out did. #GOP #teaparty

Rick Perry's gonna white out all of Obama's executive orders!

Time to grab dinner before the big debate at 9pm! See you later!

Post #GOPDebate @RickSantorum has dinner plans & guess who is coming to dinner: some of his fellow candidates