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23 Things You Learn When You Have A Baby In A Foreign Country

Oh look, more Sudocreme in the post.

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1. You have the opportunity to do a really cute pregnancy announcement.

Because none of your friends live close enough to suspect a thing.

2. Get ready to take at least one bump picture a week.

Of course, your mother will want a new one in her inbox daily.


5. “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” has been translated into over 30 different languages.

6. But it may be necessary to finally fork out for a dictionary.

7. While you’re at it, look up “epidural.”

Just in case.


10. But at least you won’t have to deal with the pressure of hysterical visitors waiting in the hospital for you to push that baby out.

Because your family are all hundreds of miles away lololol.

11. And even when you’re far away, people are still lovely enough to send presents.

12. You’ll get stuff like Calpol and Sudocreme in the post too.

Because the local equivalents are clearly not to be trusted.

14. After two weeks your baby will find the Skype ringtone as recognisable as your own voice.

19. You will be uncertain about the kid’s nationality until you apply for a passport.

And even then you’re all “really…?”


20. Side note: It’s really hard to get an infant to pose for a passport picture.

Any chance of a smize?

22. Arriving home for the first time with your new baby will be emotional as hell.

And worth the eight hours you spent trapped in that plane.

23. And best of all, your kid will get to call two places home.

Lucky baby.