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23 Things You Learn When You Have A Baby In A Foreign Country

Oh look, more Sudocreme in the post.

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1. You have the opportunity to do a really cute pregnancy announcement.

Because none of your friends live close enough to suspect a thing.

2. Get ready to take at least one bump picture a week.

Of course, your mother will want a new one in her inbox daily.

3. Depending on where you are, the standard of maternity care you get will either be amazing or rubbish compared to home.


Either way, it will be different.

4. But you’ll have twice as many pregnancy rules to follow.

Disney / Via

The ones where you are from, and the ones from where you are. Lucky you, eh?

5. “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” has been translated into over 30 different languages.

6. But it may be necessary to finally fork out for a dictionary.

7. While you’re at it, look up “epidural.”

Just in case.

8. You suddenly realise just why people move closer to their parents when they have kids.

Babysitters on tap, duh.
Modern Family / ABC

Babysitters on tap, duh.

9. The only time it’s ever okay to call in the middle of the night (their time) is to say you’re finally in labour.

Juno / FOX / Via

10. But at least you won’t have to deal with the pressure of hysterical visitors waiting in the hospital for you to push that baby out.

Because your family are all hundreds of miles away lololol.

11. And even when you’re far away, people are still lovely enough to send presents.

12. You’ll get stuff like Calpol and Sudocreme in the post too.

Because the local equivalents are clearly not to be trusted.

13. The urge to post every single picture to Facebook will be strong.


You must resist. Or set up a group with just your close friends.

14. After two weeks your baby will find the Skype ringtone as recognisable as your own voice.

15. You will see people with kids complaining online about visitors coming over constantly.

Keeping Up With the Kardashians/ E! / Via

While you’re dying to show off your bundle of joy.

16. When you do get visitors, they will stay for weeks on end. Maybe even months.

Harry Potter/ Warner Bros / Via

Well, it’s a long way to travel.

17. On the plus side, visiting family = FREEDOM.


You get to go out!

18. Flying with a newborn is exactly the nightmare you thought it would be.

Disney/ The Lion King / Via

Tell them to keep the wine coming.

19. You will be uncertain about the kid’s nationality until you apply for a passport.

And even then you’re all “really…?”

20. Side note: It’s really hard to get an infant to pose for a passport picture.

Any chance of a smize?

21. But it means you get to go in the short queue at immigration in the airport.

Breaking Bad / Via

You couldn’t send the baby all alone, could you?

22. Arriving home for the first time with your new baby will be emotional as hell.

And worth the eight hours you spent trapped in that plane.

23. And best of all, your kid will get to call two places home.

Lucky baby.