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23 Things You Learn When You Have A Baby In A Foreign Country

Oh look, more Sudocreme in the post.

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1. You have the opportunity to do a really cute pregnancy announcement.

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Because none of your friends live close enough to suspect a thing.

2. Get ready to take at least one bump picture a week.

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Of course, your mother will want a new one in her inbox daily.

5. “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” has been translated into over 30 different languages.

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6. But it may be necessary to finally fork out for a dictionary.

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7. While you’re at it, look up “epidural.”

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Just in case.

10. But at least you won’t have to deal with the pressure of hysterical visitors waiting in the hospital for you to push that baby out.

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Because your family are all hundreds of miles away lololol.

11. And even when you’re far away, people are still lovely enough to send presents.

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12. You’ll get stuff like Calpol and Sudocreme in the post too.

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Because the local equivalents are clearly not to be trusted.

14. After two weeks your baby will find the Skype ringtone as recognisable as your own voice.

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19. You will be uncertain about the kid’s nationality until you apply for a passport.

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And even then you’re all “really…?”

20. Side note: It’s really hard to get an infant to pose for a passport picture.

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Any chance of a smize?

22. Arriving home for the first time with your new baby will be emotional as hell.

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And worth the eight hours you spent trapped in that plane.

23. And best of all, your kid will get to call two places home.

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Lucky baby.

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