Reddit user u/glycerne asked "People who divorced, what was the final straw for you?" and the comments came flooding in. I honestly did not see like 95% of these coming. They are way more brutally honest, heartbreaking, and emotional than I expected.
Here are the top-voted answers:
1. "When I found on his phone that he was complimenting this woman on how wonderful a mother she was because her sick kid got better. He had spent 10 years telling me how lazy, useless, and worthless I was even though I did 99% of everything at home including all the childcare. He was also sexting her, but I felt mostly betrayed by him giving attention and kindness to someone while being a complete douchebag to me."
2. "When I realized they weren’t trying to fix anything in the relationship, but were actively trying to make things worse. Turns out couples therapy was weaponized."
"It’s pretty sad how many people agree to couples therapy just so they can try to use the therapists words to win arguments."
3. "When I discovered he had spent a fortune on a necklace that he didn’t give to me on Christmas Day. We had two very small children and no spare money so I was a little bit put out that he had spent so much money on me...but it wasn’t for me. It was a horrific Christmas. I went to the bank to check on other things to find he had forged all my details and taken me off the joint bank account. I didn't see any of it coming. I left with my children and the clothes we were standing in. It was soooo hard, but we are OK now."
4. "When I realized they found every single thing I did to be annoying. The way I walk, talk, eat, sit, you name it. Other people seem to like me so I'd rather hang with them."
5. "Me. I was the final straw. I was an alcoholic asshole who was ruining my wife's life and my daughter's lives. I'm now 15 years sober and have a great relationship with them."
6. "He told me constantly that my career (the one I’d met him in) was pointless and I didn’t contribute anything. So I spent years re-training for a different career and was promoted after a year. He didn’t want me to take it, made it clear he didn’t think I could do it, but I took it anyway. Now I was earning more money and working ~60 hours a week. Then he started complaining the house looked like crap. I agreed and suggested that we got a cleaner now that I could afford it. He told me, 'This house isn’t big enough to justify a cleaner, you should be able to deal with it.' Then it hit me. I realized I’d never be anything but an inconvenience to him and he didn’t actually want me to be successful, just a housewife, even though he seemed to hate that, too. I couldn’t win. So I left. I'm now very happily remarried to my biggest cheerleader."
7. "I wish I could say it was the chlamydia he gave me, but it took five more years. I finally gave up when he told me that taking me a neurologist to see if I had a brain tumor wasn’t worth his time."
8. "I went to a work conference and realized how much happier and more relaxed I was away from my wife. This realization came after several attempts at counseling so it’s not as if we didn’t try."
9. "I told him I was depressed and he said 'I know.' I was trying to start a conversation and he just shut it down. So later I pushed harder and he said, 'You have nothing to be unhappy about.' That's when it was over. It took me a couple months, but I got a job and got out. After I was away from him for a bit, all my issues went away and I felt fine. It was him making me feel that way."
10. "I felt sick to my stomach and anxious all the time. That 'walking on eggshells' feeling. I finally realized that when she left for work, it felt like the highlight of my day and I could enjoy my time home alone with our daughter. It was so hard because I had to give up being with my child full time, but after many bumpy years our shared custody is pretty fair, and we really don’t have much animosity left between us."
11. "I’m very family oriented and we went on a family vacation. He told me what a bad mother and wife I was because I wasn’t catering enough to his needs. I was too busy helping everyone pack their clothes, foods, pack the car, etc. He didn't lift a finger. He still won’t sign the divorce papers..."
12. "I knew my first marriage was over when I'd come home from work and see her car in the driveway and sigh to myself because I didn't want her to be there."
13. "When he stared dating but forgot to tell me. I was his wife of 10 years."
14. "The told me the only reason they hadn’t already left was because they were a coward. Well guess what? I’m not."
15. "I had a brain injury. It caused a personality change that was so drastic we had nothing really in common anymore. So we're still friends but divorced after 30 years."
16. "We had been married for 10 years, we had two children together. I had stood by his side as he spiraled in depression, anxiety and panic attacks, I had forgiven him multiple affairs, and dropped out of school to support our family when he abruptly quit his job citing mental health concerns. Yet after all this, he was convinced I had "never" loved him. And I realized that it was all projection. No one wants to be the bad guy in their own story, and he couldn't face that he didn't want the life we had built, so he concocted a story in his head that shifted the blame to me, and decided I had never loved him. I had withstood an awful lot in what had become a very toxic environment, but in that moment I knew I had to leave. No point in sticking around to try to convince someone you love them if they have determined you don't. I took off my ring that day, and never put it back on."
And finally...
17. "He fucked my sister in our bed while the kids were in the house. Our son told me."
Now, it's your turn! Are you divorced? What made you end things? Comment below!
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
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