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1. It's his birthday, and he's ready to party.
2. He's going HARD.
3. He knows exactly what the party needs.
4. But some shots are gross.
5. He might need a chaser.
6. But give him a break! He's 46!
7. Because then he'll mack it on Madonna...
8. ...which is every gay man's dream come true.
9. The kiss will be explosive.
10. And then Madonna will bring up Gérard Depardieu.
11. And it was the best birthday ever!
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