1.
You quickly figured out your preferred method for avoiding la chancla.
2.
You learned how to make up for the greatest dishonor you can bring on yourself.
3.
You realized that piñata pits require strategy for the best candy (and survival).
4.
You kept as quiet as possible while your mom said "bye" for 72 years por qué si no ibas a ver.
5.
You kept your cool after eating something "que no pica" unless you wanted the roasting of a lifetime.
6.
You never threw berrinches because things could've always been worse.
7.
You figured out how to breathe while your mom created the most toxic fog of your childhood.
8.
You learned to say hello to everyone as soon as you could in order to avoid ~that~ question.
9.
You had to learn how to flip tortillas with your bare hands or be shamed forever.
10.
You learned how to "fix" your attitude very quickly or it was gonna get fixed for you.
11.
You learned that "I'm bored" translates into "I want to clean" in your mom's mind.
12.
You learned how to execute nighttime food missions quietly or risk the wrath of your parents.
13.
You grew a thick skin because your mom always had jokes.
14.
If you valued your life, you never went near a place your mom had just cleaned.
15.
You learned to get out of the bounce house quick when your primos were around.
16.
Keeping your face composed was key when your family started repeating "quiere llorar."
17.
You learned to take your mom's "five minutes" literally.
18.
You knew to brace yourself when you heard "que le muerda, que le muerda."
19.
And finally, you learned how to savor your mom's fresh caldo even though the temperature outside was hotter than her salsa.
