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    Posted on Sep 21, 2016

    18 Caballo Dorado Truths That’ll Hit Too Close To Home

    You're gonna have more than just a broken heart if you don't keep up.

    1. First off, the song is only on because your tíos keep suggesting it to the DJ.

    2. And it always seems to play right after a different cardio workout.

    3. But you suck it up because you're a fucking pro at Caballo Dorado and the whole world needs to see.

    4. Your drunk relatives also seem to think the same, so they come out onto the dance floor too...

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    5. ...even the ones that always end up getting hurt.

    6. Everything starts out great! Nice, slow, and manageable...

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    7. ...then the fast part comes up way sooner than you remember.

    8. You manage to keep up for a bit, because you're a pro right?

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    9. Then other people start to screw it all up...

    10. ...and start bumping into each other!

    11. Leaving some pretty gruesome battle scars...

    12. ...or actual injuries.

    13. And at least one person will be Mufasa-ed by the end.

    14. Until eventually only a select few remain...

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    15. ...and you're one of them.

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    (Of course.)

    16. So applaud yourself for surviving in one piece.

    17. And prepare yourself for the next time it plays, so you can show off your ~amazing dance moves~.

    18. Unless someone plays it in the car, because how is your pure talent supposed to shine in a moving two ton box with wheels?

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