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21 Devastating Milton Keynes Struggles

Half to the city, please!

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1. You grew up where?

Despite being bigger than all of these cities, Milton Keynes doesn't feature on the local weather map.
BBC Look East / Via newstevesnewscaps.blogspot.co.uk

Despite being bigger than all of these cities, Milton Keynes doesn't feature on the local weather map.

2. When people hear where you are from, they just think of concrete cows and roundabouts.

Jodi / Via Flickr: squirmelia

3. Although, to be fair, there are a lot of roundabouts.

Sam Wetherell / BuzzFeed

130, in fact.

4. The city is probably younger than your nan.

barnyz / Via Flickr: 75487768@N04

5. There's never much news.

6. You might as well forget about using public transport.

The Simpsons / 20th Century Fox / nohomers.net

7. Most of your life was spent walking along grass verges next to busy roads.

Motion Picture Corporation of America

Because the redways never quite meet up.

8. Going up city to go clubbing often filled you with a vague sense of despair.

The Guardian / theguardian.com

9. The night might begin well, starting with a slap up meal in the Theatre District.

Milton Keynes Citizen / Via miltonkeynes.co.uk

10. And then you realised you couldn't get into Oceana because you weren't wearing smart enough shoes.

Paramount Pictures / reddit.com

11. So you went to The Pitz instead for a bit of moshing.

12. The Tree was the centre of your social world.

Scorpions and Centaurs / Via Flickr: bruciestokes

13. Before it died in 2008. :(

Jamie Chalmers / Via Flickr: mrxstitch / Creative Commons

14. The grid system is impenetrable to outsiders.

You need to get to Walnut Tree? Take the H5 to the V11 then take the H9.
Twitter: @ellied0wns / Via en.wikipedia.org

You need to get to Walnut Tree? Take the H5 to the V11 then take the H9.

15. And the names of the estates make no sense at all. Tinker's Bridge, Bleak Hall, or Fenny Stratford, anyone?

Thames Valley Police dealing with minor disorder in estates at Milton Keynes -Eaglestone, Garraways, Coffee Hall, Bean Hill and Netherfield.

Kirsty Gardner@KirstyGardnerFollow

Thames Valley Police dealing with minor disorder in estates at Milton Keynes -Eaglestone, Garraways, Coffee Hall, Bean Hill and Netherfield.

9:44 PM - 09 Aug 11ReplyRetweetFavorite

16. You are dismayed by plans to demolish The Point.

It's all been downhill since the Easy Cinema closed.
Chris / Via Flickr: dcmaster / Creative Commons

It's all been downhill since the Easy Cinema closed.

17. And the train station was always encircled by literally hundreds of skateboarding greebos.

Yeahh Brad / Via youtube.com

And this was a relatively quiet day.

18. MK Dons are the only football team that everyone in Britain hates.

Against Modern Football / Via youtube.com

"We're coming for you, you franchised bastards."

19. And don't even think about going to the annual Christmas event.

That year's event featured an ice rink with no ice, and elves were caught smoking behind Santa's grotto.
Via independent.co.uk

That year's event featured an ice rink with no ice, and elves were caught smoking behind Santa's grotto.

20. And worst of all, Cliff Richard might appear in the mall at any moment.

21. Stay classy, Milton Keynes!

Getting reports that @VirginTrains 16;20 from Euston is delayed by a naked man on the tracks at Milton Keynes.

Manchester News MEN@MENnewsdeskFollow

Getting reports that @VirginTrains 16;20 from Euston is delayed by a naked man on the tracks at Milton Keynes.

5:07 PM - 12 Aug 14ReplyRetweetFavorite