You think indoor plumbing is overrated.You can go a day without showering and feel OK about yourself.Maybe even a few days.Also, you hate what shampoo does to your hair.And B.O. doesn’t bother you THAT much.You also aren’t afraid to skimp on deodorant and go au naturel.Also, brushing your teeth is overrated.You wouldn’t mind hunting for your food, if you got the chance.In a perfect world, you would throw out your microwave.And get rid of your oven.And toss out your refrigerator.That’s because you like your food FRESH.You know that the best way to stay warm isn’t central heating.It’s cuddling with a ~special someone.~You also wouldn’t mind that much if you didn’t have air conditioning.That’s because you would LOVE to carry a fancy fan around.You agree with the statement “Beauty is pain.”Also, sometimes fashion hurts.You’re perfectly comfortable undergoing some degree of pain to look good.Also, you LOVE vintage clothing.You prefer to bike to work.Or walk. Walking to work is good.If you don’t already do either of the former, you would prefer it to driving or mass transit.You have a random skill that is actually very useful.You have SEVERAL random skills that are actually very useful.Like, maybe you can sew.Or you can chop wood.You’re over planes.And trains.But most of all, automobiles.But, a horse sounds pretty cool.Especially if it is drawing a carriage.Or a chariot.You don’t have Facebook, or wouldn’t be totally lost if you gave it up.When you use Instagram, you love to throw it WAY back for #TBT.You wouldn’t be totally lost if you had to give up your cell phone.And come to think of it, losing your email wouldn’t be the end of the world.Also, maybe you would be a little more productive if you didn’t have to take so many BuzzFeed quizzes.Sometimes, you are confused by the language that kids are using these days.You really just wish everyone could speak the PROPER way and not use some crazy slang.You believe book smarts beat street smarts.You like your coffee hot.Your meat rare.And your pizza NOT from some icky take-out place.But most important, everything ORGANIC.You are OVER bottled water because it is so wasteful.You’d prefer to live in a castle.Or a chateau.Or a palace.Or even a quaint country cottage.You don’t get seasick.And your immune system is pretty stellar.As is your eyesight.If you had to defend yourself in combat, you’d be able to.Maybe with a sword.Or a bow and arrow.Or a well-timed punch.You hate sitting around at an office job.You hate sitting around in traffic.You hate sitting around in class.Basically, you hate sitting around.You enjoy the outdoors.And don’t mind waking up early for the sunrise.A good portrait will always beat a selfie.A real book will always beat a Kindle.Live music will always beat Spotify.A good poem will always beat a good tweet.A real magazine will always beat the digital version.A good play will always beat Netflix.A regal ball will always beat the hottest nightclub.And most important, a hug will always beat a Facebook like.Maybe, just maybe, you’ve thought 2014 isn’t the right year for you.
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