Complaining about how much time you spent in traffic is like a weird form of bragging in L.A.
It’s not just glorified lettuce, IT’S A RELIGION.
5. Where they went hiking this weekend.
Because being fit isn’t enough; you also have to talk about how you’re on that healthy grind too.
7. Or whatever new fitness craze they’re trying out.
Because who wants to just run or lift weights?
Either they’re SO EXCITED TO GO TO COACHELLA or they’re just excited everyone else is leaving and the city will be empty.
11. The “weather.”
Over 80 is too hot, under 65 is too cold, and if it rains, it’s practically Armageddon in L.A. because people here cannot handle even a drizzle.
12. Celebrities, but casually.
Unlike plebeians from other cities, you can’t actually get excited about seeing a real, live celebrity. Instead, you casually drop their name in conversation in a total humblebrag move like you actually know them.
14. Toyota Priuses, whether they drive one or not.
Half the city drives one, and the other half still has a very strong opinion on them.
15. Organic food.
What, like you weren’t going to buy organic?
19. Whatever creative project they’re working on.
Literally 90% of people are “working” on a screenplay, novel, or maybe even some fingerpainting because this is the ~ city of dreams ~.
24. Where they are from originally.
Because practically no one is ACTUALLY from L.A., finding a native of the city is pretty much like finding a unicorn.
Usually involves complaining about how far away they had to park OR bragging about how they snagged an amazing space.
26. Where they go grocery shopping.
Whole Foods, Trader Joe’s, or GTFO.