Let's DO THIS!!!
How Norberto felt about his body before the shoot: I don’t have a positive opinion about my body. I have no sexiness to flaunt. I am as sexy as a three-dollar sandwich from 7-Eleven. I'm a big dude, so going into this, I knew it was going to be a painfully awkward experience.
How Norberto felt about his body after the shoot: That was awkward, all right. For me, trying to pose like these models is like trying to build Michelangelo’s David with Nickelodeon Gak. It’s impossible, it’s frustrating, and you’re working with LOTS of jiggly bits. Our photographer Macey kept telling me to pop my hip. I was popping my hip. But you can’t see my fabulous hip pop because there’s a lot of ~fat~ in the way. My knees hurt like a mofo, because standing in the sand on my knees feels like a million little knives penetrating through the skin. And since I’m a heavyweight, the pain was tenfold. Also, these models have a natural “sexy face” in the ads. I don’t have one of those. I naturally look like a creeper with a horrifying grumpy face. It’s not sexy. It’s VERY not sexy. Note to self: Never go to the beach.
How Alex felt about his body before the shoot: Going into the shoot day, I felt pretty good and relaxed about modeling for a wide audience. I think that’s likely because of a double standard that exists between men and women. I’m far from a model, but if I can laugh this whole thing off and get some humor out of it, I can get away with it more easily than perhaps if I were a woman doing the same thing, which is unfair. Sure, I might have a bit of a dad bod going on, but, I assumed, that would be no problem because I would rock this photo shoot with complete confidence — confidence, I hoped, that would ooze out of my soulful yet intense eyes.
How Alex felt about his body after the shoot: I went into the shoot with the strong conviction that I wouldn’t be self-conscious about it at all. The reality ended up being a bit different, as was evident by how much I sucked my gut in for the final group photo. In fact, I actually started going to the gym a lot more right after this experiment, as this whole debacle proved to be a stark reminder that I no longer have the body I had as a 22-year-old. I was also self-conscious about the posing itself. As I was posing, I was thinking about how under no circumstances on any average day, would I ever pose the way I did for this shoot. I kept on wondering, Why the fuck is my hand just pointlessly waving around and Why do I feel the need to hug my own abdomen? and Why can’t my hips move that way? Are they lying?
How Javi felt about his body before the shoot: Before the shoot, I was hella nervous. I’ve never liked my body or have been comfortable with it. The ideal for men is an athletic look with a six-pack. Most of the time that’s just not possible, unless you make a very hardcore commitment. Even when I think I look OK, I’ve never been satisfied with my physique. I grudgingly agreed to go do the shoot, but even up until the last second I thought about backing out. I’ve always had issues with my body, thinking it wasn’t chiseled or athletic enough, and the thought of being exposed is terrifying.
How Javi felt about his body after the shoot: During the shoot, I didn’t like it at all. I’m only exposed like that when I’m at my house walking around in my chones. I took my shirt off at the very last second and was NOT comfortable. It was cool getting out to the beach, though, and after a while you start to get comfortable with it. Afterward, though, the anxiety begins to creep back in again. Again, having your body exposed to thousands of strangers is nerve-racking to say the least. I was dreading the day when I would actually have to ~look~ at the pictures myself.
Also, it should be noted that Javi probably had the toughest pose of them all, but he put on a BRAVE face:
Don't hate us 'cause you ain't us!!!
