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    17 Questions I Have About "The Lion King" Now That I'm An Adult

    The circle of life isn't complete without more than a few questions.

    1. First of all, this mouse that Scar captures seems to be only capable of making squeaking noises. Why are some animals capable of speech, and others aren't?

    Disney

    A minor quibble but a pretty big plot inconsistency nonetheless!

    2. If Mufasa and Scar are brothers, why does one have an American accent and the other have a British accent?

    Disney

    Come on, Disney. You messed this one up.

    3. On that note, why does a movie that takes place in AFRICA with animals native to the continent feature characters with predominantly British or American accents?

    Disney

    It just doesn't make sense.

    4. Is Mufasa wifed up to all of these lionesses?

    Disney

    Not another adult male lion in sight! Seems like we have a Sister Wives situation going on here.

    5. So does that mean Nala and Simba are cousins?

    Disney

    If they're in the same pride, and Mufasa is the only adult male "taking care of business" in their neck of the savannah, wouldn't that mean Nala and Simba are very closely related? Must be!

    6. Let's be honest: Why was Scar EVER left alone with Simba?!

    Disney

    He already exhibited murderous behavior in front of Mufasa (nearly swallowing Zazu). I have to believe that wasn't an isolated incident. How do you leave Simba alone with your sociopathic brother? Bad parenting in my opinion.

    7. Why didn't Simba just run to the side of the canyon to avoid the stampede?

    Disney

    It's literally common sense. MAKE A HARD RIGHT, SIMBA YOU FOOL.

    8. OK so Zazu was at the stampede. Why does he trust Scar's account of the events when Scar LITERALLY knocked him out when he was ready to fly away for help?

    Disney

    Don't fall for his B.S., Zazu. You're better than that!

    9. Sorry to backtrack, but we need to talk some more about the accents. How do Timon and Pumbaa, a meerkat and a warthog from the African savannah/jungle, end up with thick Brooklyn accents?

    Disney

    I wasn't aware the L Train made a stop in the middle of the African jungle.

    10. I'm not a nutritionist or a zoologist, but I really, really don't think insects are enough to get Simba through all those years in the jungle?

    Disney

    Seems like atrophy waiting to happen to me.

    11. Did Rafiki REALLY figure out Simba was still alive from smelling dandelions that floated from miles and miles away?

    Disney

    Maybe he had really bad lion B.O. from hanging out with Pumbaa all these years? IDK.

    12. Nala goes from hunting Pumbaa one minute to having a conversation with him after Simba vouches for him. In the animal kingdom, why are the predators friends with some prey and hunt others?

    Disney

    Like, I'm assuming the line between being buddy-buddy and being lunch is a thin one, right?

    13. Simba and Nala TOTALLY boned in this scene, right?

    Disney

    JUST LOOK AT THE SEX EYES SHE IS GIVING HIM!

    14. Why did Simba leave Nala behind as he was returning home?

    Disney

    Simba and Nala finally reunite after YEARS apart, and then he rushes off to save his pride — THE VERY PRIDE NALA WAS SENT FROM – without returning to bring back his lion girlfriend with him? What a fuckboy. Or fucklion, I guess.

    15. What is this random desert that Simba is running through on his way back to Pride Rock?

    Disney

    Maybe my geography is off, but lions are native to sub-Saharan Africa, which means there would be NO reason for Simba to cross a desert at any point in his return home

    16. I'm sorry but by WHAT leap of logic is Simba responsible for Mufasa's death?

    Disney

    OK, I get why he might feel slightly guilty — his dad rushed to save him and died in the process. But he has some PRETTY big hang-ups about this all things considered, and the evidence is way too thin for Scar to frame him on it.

    17. And finally, why do the lionesses put up with all the male lions' bullshit?!?

    Disney

    Nala, Sarabi, and co. do ALL the hunting for the pride AND raise the kids. Meanwhile, Mufasa can't even execute a simple rescue mission, Simba simpers off for a decade because he can't own up to his mistakes, and Scar is a frickin' drama queen who endangers the entire pack on a consistent basis. All the male lions do is fuck things up, and the female lions have to put in all the grunt work. FIGHT THE LION PATRIARCHY!