Hey! My name is Sam, and I've seen Legally Blonde like, a million times. What, like it's hard?
Anyway, in honor of Ariana Grande's "thank u, next" music video, I decided to watch the movie for what feels like the million-and-oneth time (I know oneth isn't a word, but just work with me) and honestly, I have a lot of questions about Legally Blonde now!
1.First of all, I'm no relationship expert, but why would Warren take Elle to an incredibly romantic dinner, only to break up with her? It seems like kind of a dick move to me!
2.Also, he says he wants to find a Jackie to marry, and not a Marilyn, but don't you think that's selling Elle a little short? She's her sorority's president AND she was named homecoming queen of CULA!
3.Elle's big celebratory achievement was getting a 179 on the LSAT, but that wouldn't guarantee she was getting into Harvard. Why was this treated like the big win, but getting accepted never was?
4.Seriously, didn't the moment where the admissions officers pick Elle for Harvard seem like a pretty subdued moment? The very next scene, she's driving through Cambridge!
5.Speaking of driving, is Elle driving ON the Harvard quad? The school wouldn't allow that, right?
6.I *still* find it hard to believe that Warner could go an ENTIRE summer without knowing Elle got accepted to Harvard Law. The school was his entire future AND she was his steady girlfriend. Is he really that dumb? MAYBE.
7.Are we supposed to feel bad when Elle is dressed down by Professor Stromwell in front of the entire class? She literally didn't do the assignment, she had to be taught a lesson!
8.OK, I've thought this before, but isn't it a LITTLE insane that Warner gets engaged to Vivian over the course of a summer, ESPECIALLY after coming out of a LTR with Elle? MEN, amiright?!
9.Why was Enid so rude to Elle in the library, making fun of her for being a stereotypical dumb blonde? Elle hadn't done anything to offend her, at least onscreen.
10.Why did it take Elle calling Margot to find out she was engaged? Margot was one of her good friends, shouldn't she have given Elle a buzz?
11.This isn't really a question, but the fact Elle continued to walk into Vivian's party, even after she realized no one else was wearing a costume, took some major balls. I certainly wouldn't have done this!
12.Having said that, why did it take her THIS long to invest in a laptop? It would appear she had been at Harvard Law for a few weeks, she got chewed out in her first class for not being prepared, and she clearly has the financial means.
13.Don't we find it a little suspicious that out of ALL the Harvard Law students, three of the four picked are MAJOR characters in the movie, and the fourth is one we are familiar with? Oh, Hollywood!
14.We obviously learn Callahan is a bad guy by the end of the movie, but why would a lawyer with an amazing reputation like his take a case like Brooke's that he is clearly so doubtful of? Like, he definitely believes she is guilty! He doesn't seem like the type for a cash grab.
15.In all honesty, who was the person who discovered the Bend and Snap, and how did that happen? Someone should make THAT movie!
16.Also more of an observation, but Emmett (Luke Wilson) says something to Elle asking how he would look as a blonde. This is kind of ironic, because Luke's brother (who definitely looks like him) is, yeah, BLONDE!
17.I mean, I think we know why, but why is Elle treated as "dumb" when she makes basically every important discovery in Brooke's case? She's able to figure out Brooke's alibi, she's sent to speak to Mrs. Windham-Vandermark because she's the most "qualified", she figures out Enrique is gay, and she gets the confession out of Chutney. Brooke was smart to trust her!
18.Professor Stromwell's statement to Elle that if she gives up the case, then "you're not the girl I thought you were" rings a tad bit hollow, right? We don't see much of her aside from her first scene where she isn't impressed that Elle is not prepared for class. Love Holland Taylor, though!
19.OK, sorry Chutney, sweetie, but WHY DID YOU ADMIT TO THE DAMN CRIME ON THE WITNESS STAND?! Obviously Brooke caught you in a lie, but couldn't you have pleaded the fifth or something?! Whatever.
Anyways, I know I'm going to end up watching this classic AGAIN sooner rather than later, and my life will be the richer for it. And can Legally Blonde 3 come ASAP, please?!