As you're probably aware, there are two types of cousins in the world. There are regular cousins, and there are the Gay Cousins. And as my coworker Matt said, "If you don't have a Gay Cousin, then you ARE the Gay Cousin." That is FACT.
And if you're THE Gay Cousin, then you know that Thanksgiving isn't just any holiday. It's basically the Super Bowl if you're the designated homo in the family, and you DEFINITELY brought your A-Game.
1. The most important part of being the Gay Cousin is, of course, your arrival:
Arriving back at your homophobic hometown for thanksgiving
2. By default you're the best cousin, so you have to walk into the room like all eyes are on you:
Me, the gay cousin, walking into thanksgiving dinner next week
3. You need to be serving LEWKS and ATTITUDE, because all anyone else is going to be serving is dry-ass turkey and cranberry sauce:
Showing up to Thanksgiving as the gay cousin like:
4. This, of course, is because you've realized by now you ARE the Gay Cousin:
Roman: The best part of being gay is the thought of, "Wow. I was the gay cousin the whole time."
5. And that is something to be thankful for:
With American Thanksgiving coming up, I think it’s important that we all take a moment to be grateful that we get to be the gay cousin.
6. And today is OUR time to shine:
Being the gay cousin is truly an Olympic sport, and we train all year for Thanksgiving and come prepared to: 1. Serve scalding hot family tea 2. Make entry-level pop culture references 3. Proclaim our hatred for football in the kitchen with all the family matriarchs https://t.co/6gEqEVzxxm
7. Because we're the backbone of the family:
The gay cousin thats better than everyone https://t.co/FrmCidS8sF
8. And we bring a very specific set of skills to the dinner table:
"being the gay cousin at family gatherings" mood board
9. Sometimes (this is very rare, but it is known to happen) there might be more than one Gay Cousin:
When my younger gay cousin shows up at Thanksgiving
10. This can be alarming, but of course, there is strength in numbers:
when you’re the gay cousin but you find out you have a gay cousin.
11. Anyway, this is you hanging in the kitchen instead of watching football:
me the gay cousin on Thursday at thanksgiving sitting on the counter because I can’t sit in a chair properly
12. Or maybe at some point in the gathering you're just looking to not be noticed:
Me (the gay cousin at Thanksgiving) trying to blend in.
13. Going outdoors to play "sports"? LOL:
Straight cousins at Thanksgiving: “Hey, who’s up for some football?” My gay ass:
14. And this isn't cousin-specific, but it's all-too-real:
Happy Thanksgiving to gays who hold their phone like a clutch
15. And at some point, your other cousins have recognized your true powers:
i think my favourite cousin.... i think she’s.... gay..... i’m
16. You're not above stirring the pot a little, and I'm not talking about anything in the kitchen:
Me, the gay cousin, getting asked how I've been by relatives on Thanksgiving.
17. Like, a little bit of drama deserves to be on the menu:
My family gathered at the Thanksgiving table: We should all say a prayer Me: I can lead this year Me:
18. And of course, stuff like this happens:
Thanksgiving RULE.. ☝🏽 Don’t ask me “when you gone get a boyfriend” “how many boyfriends you got” Im the gay cousin, sister, auntie, bestfriend... ALLLATTTTT.. hell fuck around & letcha know “I am the boyfriend “ NEXXTTTTT.
19. Sometimes you try to get out in front of it:
*wears a beanie and flannel to family thanksgiving just in case anyone forgot who the gay cousin was*
20. But, alas, that doesn't always make a difference:
can’t wait to be the gay cousin at thanksgiving dinner tomorrow & be asked about a boyfriend nonstop
21. Happy Thanksgiving to all the Gay Cousins! There's more of us than you know:
rt if you're the gay cousin at thanksgiving dinner