1. This perfect Girl Scout Cookies pun:
2. As well as this pun that's cereal-ously funny:
I had generic Frosted Flakes this morning. They were gggggooood.
3. This nutritious prank:
Surprise motherfucker
4. And this joke that will only make sense if you're a film major *AND* into Italian food:
come to my italian restaurant The Bechamel Test where women eat lasagne and don’t talk about men
5. This tweet that will change the way you look at pasta forever:
are we gonna talk about how baby sting rays look like haunted ravioli
6. And this funny, but way too real tweet:
I don't like who I become when I'm left alone with a bag of chips.
7. This one is WAY too real too:
Breakfast: 300 calories Lunch: 400 calories Dinner: 600 calories Evening Snack: 2,400,000 calories
8. This throwback:
The real ones know wussup with these.
9. This example of #RelationshipGoals:
*sidles up close* Me: I think I love you Me: That's ok. Don't say anything Me: You're not a talker Me: Gonna eat you up Cheese dip:...
10. This deep-fried burn:
11. And this ice-cold one:
12. And this sugary sweet play on words:
When your cheesecake recipe tells you to "chill in the fridge for 1hr"
13. This guy, who proves not all heroes wear capes:
Guy on this bus is packing a 30 gallon drum of Cinnabon frosting
14. And what friendship is really like:
me: can i have a chicken nugget them: sure my phone: you just received a venmo request for $0.62
15. This #gourmet tweet:
me, an intellectual
16. Food Network shows, in one tweet:
Chopped: make dinner out of motor oil and baby hair Cutthroat Kitchen: taze your opponent while they prep a burrito The golden age of TV
17. Same here:
Someone on the food network: you can make this recipe with ingredients in your own home! So we're gonna start with our pigeon meat
18. When your Mexican food is more poppin' than your makeup:
Use flash to make sure her highlight pop
19. Rules for ordering red meat:
Steak guide: Rare:Seared outside,75% red inside Medium: Seared outside,25% red inside Well Done: Order chicken, you steak-hating bastard
20. And this accurate statement:
Only a serial killer would carry pizzas like this
21. This incredibly difficult photo challenge:
kitten or ice cream ?
22. Not all political news is bad:
This is what the electoral map would look like if only dogs voted
23. This amazing play on words:
*takes your order* *goes to kitchen* *comes back* "did you say grilled cheese or gorilla cheese?" grilled *sighs* *goes to kitchen*
24. And this one too:
ME: The new girl is a vegan BOSS: so Me: I feel like I've met her... BOSS: STOP ME: but I know... BOSS: DON'T ME: i've never seen herbivore
25. When you're *THAT* coworker:
I'm trying to convince my coworker to go to lunch so I can eat the skittle under his desk
26. Modern dating:
The tinder app looks too much like the chipotle app and everytime i think i have a match i’ve actually just ordered another burrito
27. And finally, this perfect tweet:
All the Pringle ladies All the Pringle ladies All the Pringle ladies All the Pringle ladies Get their hands stuck
Bone apple tea!
