1. WARNING:
me w a boyfriend vs. me without
2. These are not family-friendly tweets!
she succ me *pulls petal off a rose* she succ me not
3. They're NSFW:
why my cinnamon role look like ET bus a nut
4. Or to be more accurate, NSFL (not safe for life):
When you suckin his dick n he whisper fuck
5. That doesn't mean they aren't funny!
This entire shelf of own-brand cereals sounds like an old English army Major, trying to find a euphemism for gay me… https://t.co/eRVPVpxYVD
6. That doesn't mean they aren't true!
damn no wonder jimmy neutron was best friends with carl he got that WAGON boi
7. But you WILL pray for forgiveness for laughing at them:
8. See what I mean?
When he first slide in and I hear him curse
9. So wrong...
10. ...yet so right:
Hey there Delilah whats it like in New York City I'm a thousand miles away but girl snapchat me them titties 😩
11. There...are no words:
when you won't eat meat on Fridays during Lent but you'll still suck dick
12. Crazy, yet true:
Snow storms should be named after men because too often they oversell you on the inches they'll deliver.
13. The internet is WILD, y'all:
you vs the aardvark who is fucking everyone you know
14. Did Al Gore have this in mind when he invented it?
15. What in tarnation...
proof the earth not flat
16. *Rinses eyes with holy water*:
When you watching porn and you feel yourself about to nut to the wrong part of the video
17. *Clears browser history*:
when u nut but the government keeps conspiring
18. *Screams into the abyss*:
Richard Nixon campaign badges. Such innocent times.
19. Now back to your regularly scheduled programming:
bitch this is fucking anne hathaway