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Mail Online's Sidebar Of Shame: A Translator's Guide

The Daily Mail website uses some confusing terms to describe celebrity ladies. Here's a quick guide for the uninitiated.

  1. 1. "Parades her new shape / curves / trim frame / bikini body."

    Via dailymail.co.uk
    Correct! 
    Wrong! 

    "Goes out in public."

  1. 2. "Pours her curves into..."

    Via dailymail.co.uk
    Correct! 
    Wrong! 

    "Wears item of clothing, as per manufacturer's instructions."

  1. 3. "Flashes her cleavage."

    Correct! 
    Wrong! 

    "Goes outside in anything lower cut than a turtle neck."

  1. 4. "Lashings of fake tan."

    Correct! 
    Wrong! 

    "A layer of fake tan."

  1. 5. "Cuts a lonely figure"

    Correct! 
    Wrong! 

    "Happened to be alone at time of being photographed."

  1. 6. "Looks grumpy."

    Correct! 
    Wrong! 

    "Happened to be frowning during split second photograph was taken."

  1. 7. "Flaunts new shape / curves / trim frame / toned pins / bikini body."

    Correct! 
    Wrong! 

    "Goes outside."

  1. 8. "Looks disheveled."

    Correct! 
    Wrong! 

    "Isn't dressed to attend a red carpet premiere."

  1. 9. "Struggles to contain herself / ample cleavage."

    Correct! 
    Wrong! 

    "Has breasts. There. Look. You can see them."

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