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Definitive Proof That Usher Has Absolutely No Control Over His Own Hands

Usher Terry Raymond IV, singer/songwriter/performer, has no control over his own hands. An investigation.

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The following investigation looked at thousands of photographs from 2004–2015. These are my findings.

Exhibit A

Filed Under: "Tsup"
Frazer Harrison / Getty Images

Filed Under: "Tsup"

Exhibit B

Filed Under: "Being Uncommon With Common"
Larry Busacca / Getty Images

Filed Under: "Being Uncommon With Common"

Exhibit C

Filed Under: "Two On My Friend, Two In The Air"
Frank Micelotta / Getty Images

Filed Under: "Two On My Friend, Two In The Air"

Exhibit D

Frank Micelotta / Getty Images

Filed Under: "Red Carpet Swag"

Exhibit E

Filed Under: "Are U Ticklish?"
Scott Gries / Getty Images

Filed Under: "Are U Ticklish?"

Exhibit F

Filed Under: "The Eye Poker"
Pascal Le Segretain / Getty Images

Filed Under: "The Eye Poker"

Exhibit G

Filed Under: "The Lobster Pincher"
Paul Morigi

Filed Under: "The Lobster Pincher"

Exhibit H

Filed Under: "I Think I Know You But Can't Remember From Where?"
Tibrina Hobson / Getty Images

Filed Under: "I Think I Know You But Can't Remember From Where?"

Exhibit I

Filed Under: "Table For 3 1/4, Please"
Kevin Winter / Getty Images

Filed Under: "Table For 3 1/4, Please"

Exhibit J

Filed Under: "Fuck You But Also If You Like It Then You Should Put A Ring On It"
Tim P. Whitby / Getty Images

Filed Under: "Fuck You But Also If You Like It Then You Should Put A Ring On It"

Exhibit K

Filed Under: "My Hand Would Very Much Appreciate Pinching Your Cheeks Right Now"
Stuart Wilson / Getty Images

Filed Under: "My Hand Would Very Much Appreciate Pinching Your Cheeks Right Now"

Exhibit L

Filed Under: "'Peace, I Guess? I Donno"
Gabriel Bouys / Getty Images

Filed Under: "'Peace, I Guess? I Donno"

Exhibit M

Filed Under: "::cannot put middle finger down::"
Christopher Polk / Getty Images

Filed Under: "::cannot put middle finger down::"

Exhibit N

Filed Under: "Havin' A Lil Party Down Here RN"
Frank Micelotta / Getty Images

Filed Under: "Havin' A Lil Party Down Here RN"

Exhibit O

Filed Under: "You Are The One I love. No. You. Yes. You."
Evan Agostini / Getty Images

Filed Under: "You Are The One I love. No. You. Yes. You."

Exhibit P

Filed Under: "You Can Hide Me In A Glove But You Can't Ignore Me"
Michael Tran / Getty Images

Filed Under: "You Can Hide Me In A Glove But You Can't Ignore Me"

Exhibit Q

Filed Under: "My Mind Says No But My Hands Say TWEEDLE DEE"
Moses Robinson / Getty Images

Filed Under: "My Mind Says No But My Hands Say TWEEDLE DEE"

Exhibit R

Filed Under: "Yo, You Look Familiar. Have I Seen You Somewhere Before?"
Angela Weiss / Getty Images

Filed Under: "Yo, You Look Familiar. Have I Seen You Somewhere Before?"

Exhibit S

Frazer Harrison / Getty Images

This isn't even a thing. WTF is happening Usher?

Exhibit T

Filed Under: "I'll Take 2.3 Pastrami Sandwiches To Go"
Vince Bucci / Getty Images

Filed Under: "I'll Take 2.3 Pastrami Sandwiches To Go"

Exhibit U

Filed Under: "Scissors ALWAYS Beat Paper"
Carlo Allegri / Getty Images

Filed Under: "Scissors ALWAYS Beat Paper"

Exhibit V

Filed Under: "How To Hail A Cab, By Usher Terry Raymond IV & The Hand"
Carlo Allegri / Getty Images

Filed Under: "How To Hail A Cab, By Usher Terry Raymond IV & The Hand"

Exhibit W

Filed Under: "Champagne Holding Practice"
Andrew H. Walker / Getty Images

Filed Under: "Champagne Holding Practice"

Exhibit X

Filed Under: "Dat Raptor Claw Grip Doe"
Scott Gries / Getty Images

Filed Under: "Dat Raptor Claw Grip Doe"

Exhibit Y

Filed Under: "Peek-A-Boo Thumb"
Brad Barket / Getty Images

Filed Under: "Peek-A-Boo Thumb"

Exhibit Z.1

Filed Under: "This Ring Is Weighing My Hand Down"
Jason Merritt / Getty Images

Filed Under: "This Ring Is Weighing My Hand Down"

Exhibit Z.2

Filed Under: "This Ring Is Weighing My Hand Down And I Should Probably Consider Buying Rings That Don't Weigh 50-Plus Pounds"
Jason Merritt / Getty Images

Filed Under: "This Ring Is Weighing My Hand Down And I Should Probably Consider Buying Rings That Don't Weigh 50-Plus Pounds"

Exhibit Z.3

Filed Under: "This Ring Is Weighing My Hand Down And I Should Probably Consider Buying Rings That Don't Weigh 50-Plus Pounds Jesus Christ I Am Terrible At Making Accessory Decisions For Myself"
Kevin Winter / Getty Images

Filed Under: "This Ring Is Weighing My Hand Down And I Should Probably Consider Buying Rings That Don't Weigh 50-Plus Pounds Jesus Christ I Am Terrible At Making Accessory Decisions For Myself"

Exhibit Z.4

Filed Under: "This Ring Is Weighing My Hand Down And I Should Probably Consider Buying Rings That Don't Weigh 50-Plus Pounds Jesus Christ I Am Terrible At Making Accessory Decisions For Myself Someone Get A Fucking Crowbar And Take This Ring Off Of My Finger"
Jason Merritt / Getty Images

Filed Under: "This Ring Is Weighing My Hand Down And I Should Probably Consider Buying Rings That Don't Weigh 50-Plus Pounds Jesus Christ I Am Terrible At Making Accessory Decisions For Myself Someone Get A Fucking Crowbar And Take This Ring Off Of My Finger"

Exhibit Z.5

Filed Under: "This Ring Is Weighing My Hand Down And I Should Probably Consider Buying Rings That Don't Weigh 50-Plus Pounds Jesus Christ I Am Terrible At Making Accessory Decisions For Myself Someone Get A Fucking Crowbar And Take This Ring Off Of My Finger Dear Lord I Beg For Your Justice And Mercy In This Time Of Suffering"
Larry Busacca / Getty Images

Filed Under: "This Ring Is Weighing My Hand Down And I Should Probably Consider Buying Rings That Don't Weigh 50-Plus Pounds Jesus Christ I Am Terrible At Making Accessory Decisions For Myself Someone Get A Fucking Crowbar And Take This Ring Off Of My Finger Dear Lord I Beg For Your Justice And Mercy In This Time Of Suffering"

Exhibit AC

Carlo Allegri / Getty Images
Carlo Allegri / Getty Images

Filed Under: "PISTOLS! Or Machine Guns? I Donno Help!!!"

Exhibit AB

Filed Under: "Oh God My Buttons Came Undone But Cannot Get Hand To Fix The Situation"
Frank Micelotta / Getty Images

Filed Under: "Oh God My Buttons Came Undone But Cannot Get Hand To Fix The Situation"

Exhibit AD

Filed Under: "I Really Have To Poop Do You Happen To Know Where The Men's Room Is?"
Stephen Lovekin / Getty Images

Filed Under: "I Really Have To Poop Do You Happen To Know Where The Men's Room Is?"

Conclusion: Usher Terry Raymond IV, singer/songwriter/performer, has no control over his own hands.

Thinkstock / Stephen Lovekin / Getty Images

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