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    Definitive Proof That Usher Has Absolutely No Control Over His Own Hands

    Usher Terry Raymond IV, singer/songwriter/performer, has no control over his own hands. An investigation.

    The following investigation looked at thousands of photographs from 2004–2015. These are my findings.

    Exhibit A

    Frazer Harrison / Getty Images

    Filed Under: "Tsup"

    Exhibit B

    Larry Busacca / Getty Images

    Filed Under: "Being Uncommon With Common"

    Exhibit C

    Frank Micelotta / Getty Images

    Filed Under: "Two On My Friend, Two In The Air"

    Exhibit D

    Frank Micelotta / Getty Images

    Filed Under: "Red Carpet Swag"

    Exhibit E

    Scott Gries / Getty Images

    Filed Under: "Are U Ticklish?"

    Exhibit F

    Pascal Le Segretain / Getty Images

    Filed Under: "The Eye Poker"

    Exhibit G

    Paul Morigi

    Filed Under: "The Lobster Pincher"

    Exhibit H

    Tibrina Hobson / Getty Images

    Filed Under: "I Think I Know You But Can't Remember From Where?"

    Exhibit I

    Kevin Winter / Getty Images

    Filed Under: "Table For 3 1/4, Please"

    Exhibit J

    Tim P. Whitby / Getty Images

    Filed Under: "Fuck You But Also If You Like It Then You Should Put A Ring On It"

    Exhibit K

    Stuart Wilson / Getty Images

    Filed Under: "My Hand Would Very Much Appreciate Pinching Your Cheeks Right Now"

    Exhibit L

    Gabriel Bouys / Getty Images

    Filed Under: "'Peace, I Guess? I Donno"

    Exhibit M

    Christopher Polk / Getty Images

    Filed Under: "::cannot put middle finger down::"

    Exhibit N

    Frank Micelotta / Getty Images

    Filed Under: "Havin' A Lil Party Down Here RN"

    Exhibit O

    Evan Agostini / Getty Images

    Filed Under: "You Are The One I love. No. You. Yes. You."

    Exhibit P

    Michael Tran / Getty Images

    Filed Under: "You Can Hide Me In A Glove But You Can't Ignore Me"

    Exhibit Q

    Moses Robinson / Getty Images

    Filed Under: "My Mind Says No But My Hands Say TWEEDLE DEE"

    Exhibit R

    Angela Weiss / Getty Images

    Filed Under: "Yo, You Look Familiar. Have I Seen You Somewhere Before?"

    Exhibit S

    Frazer Harrison / Getty Images

    This isn't even a thing. WTF is happening Usher?

    Exhibit T

    Vince Bucci / Getty Images

    Filed Under: "I'll Take 2.3 Pastrami Sandwiches To Go"

    Exhibit U

    Carlo Allegri / Getty Images

    Filed Under: "Scissors ALWAYS Beat Paper"

    Exhibit V

    Carlo Allegri / Getty Images

    Filed Under: "How To Hail A Cab, By Usher Terry Raymond IV & The Hand"

    Exhibit W

    Andrew H. Walker / Getty Images

    Filed Under: "Champagne Holding Practice"

    Exhibit X

    Scott Gries / Getty Images

    Filed Under: "Dat Raptor Claw Grip Doe"

    Exhibit Y

    Brad Barket / Getty Images

    Filed Under: "Peek-A-Boo Thumb"

    Exhibit Z.1

    Jason Merritt / Getty Images

    Filed Under: "This Ring Is Weighing My Hand Down"

    Exhibit Z.2

    Jason Merritt / Getty Images

    Filed Under: "This Ring Is Weighing My Hand Down And I Should Probably Consider Buying Rings That Don't Weigh 50-Plus Pounds"

    Exhibit Z.3

    Kevin Winter / Getty Images

    Filed Under: "This Ring Is Weighing My Hand Down And I Should Probably Consider Buying Rings That Don't Weigh 50-Plus Pounds Jesus Christ I Am Terrible At Making Accessory Decisions For Myself"

    Exhibit Z.4

    Jason Merritt / Getty Images

    Filed Under: "This Ring Is Weighing My Hand Down And I Should Probably Consider Buying Rings That Don't Weigh 50-Plus Pounds Jesus Christ I Am Terrible At Making Accessory Decisions For Myself Someone Get A Fucking Crowbar And Take This Ring Off Of My Finger"

    Exhibit Z.5

    Larry Busacca / Getty Images

    Filed Under: "This Ring Is Weighing My Hand Down And I Should Probably Consider Buying Rings That Don't Weigh 50-Plus Pounds Jesus Christ I Am Terrible At Making Accessory Decisions For Myself Someone Get A Fucking Crowbar And Take This Ring Off Of My Finger Dear Lord I Beg For Your Justice And Mercy In This Time Of Suffering"

    Exhibit AC

    Carlo Allegri / Getty Images
    Carlo Allegri / Getty Images

    Filed Under: "PISTOLS! Or Machine Guns? I Donno Help!!!"

    Exhibit AB

    Frank Micelotta / Getty Images

    Filed Under: "Oh God My Buttons Came Undone But Cannot Get Hand To Fix The Situation"

    Exhibit AD

    Stephen Lovekin / Getty Images

    Filed Under: "I Really Have To Poop Do You Happen To Know Where The Men's Room Is?"

    Conclusion: Usher Terry Raymond IV, singer/songwriter/performer, has no control over his own hands.

    Thinkstock / Stephen Lovekin / Getty Images