11 Things You Will Hear In The Pub During Every Premier League Season

Because sometimes communicating with your fellow man in the boozer via stock phrases can save you a whole bunch of time.

1. “Wenger is a genius. To do that with his budget? Genius.”

Via edit.setanta.com

It's September.

2. “I knew I should’ve made him my Fantasy Football captain!”

Via slate.com

Every. Single. Week.

3. “X hasn’t been playing very well, sure, but it’s what X’s signing represented…”

Via independent.co.uk

From Steve Marlet to Mesut Özil, big money flops can always be written off as "a signal of intent". Yep, that old chestnut.

4. “Yeah but if he was Spanish/Belgian/Italian everyone would be raving about him!”

Via wordpress.com

See: Michael Carrick, Leon Britton and any player who just loves passing the ball sideways.

5. “Wait— did he just kiss his badge?”

Via 7amkickoff.com

Because we all know that means he'll be off in the summer...

6. “I’d take winning the League Cup.”

Via news.bbc.co.uk

When all else fails, there's always the trophy formally known as The Milk Cup.

7. “I don’t care, get Wenger out.”

Via boxofficefootball.com

It's January.

8. “Him? Oh, this ref hates us.”

Via static.goal.com

It's always nice to have your excuses ready early.

9. “A foul?! Well let’s just go the whole way and make this a non-contact sport, then."

Via tumblr.com

Because it's not really football unless someone's getting pretty badly hurt, I guess.

10. “Because really, what’s so bad about 4-4-2? It’s… It just works, doesn’t it?”

Via oi54.tinypic.com

You just know where you stand with a proper meat and potatoes formation.

11. “Let’s see him try and do that on a cold Tuesday night against Stoke.”

Via www3.pictures.zimbio.com

Poor old Stoke, forever destined to be a hypothetical hellhole with which to mock skilful wingers.