1. “Wenger is a genius. To do that with his budget? Genius.” Via edit.setanta.com It's September. 2. “I knew I should’ve made him my Fantasy Football captain!” Via slate.com Every. Single. Week. 3. “X hasn’t been playing very well, sure, but it’s what X’s signing represented…” Via independent.co.uk From Steve Marlet to Mesut Özil, big money flops can always be written off as "a signal of intent". Yep, that old chestnut. 4. “Yeah but if he was Spanish/Belgian/Italian everyone would be raving about him!” Via wordpress.com See: Michael Carrick, Leon Britton and any player who just loves passing the ball sideways. 5. “Wait— did he just kiss his badge?” Via 7amkickoff.com Because we all know that means he'll be off in the summer... 6. “I’d take winning the League Cup.” Via news.bbc.co.uk When all else fails, there's always the trophy formally known as The Milk Cup. 7. “I don’t care, get Wenger out.” Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Via boxofficefootball.com It's January. 8. “Him? Oh, this ref hates us.” Via static.goal.com It's always nice to have your excuses ready early. 9. “A foul?! Well let’s just go the whole way and make this a non-contact sport, then." Via tumblr.com Because it's not really football unless someone's getting pretty badly hurt, I guess. 10. “Because really, what’s so bad about 4-4-2? It’s… It just works, doesn’t it?” Via oi54.tinypic.com You just know where you stand with a proper meat and potatoes formation. 11. “Let’s see him try and do that on a cold Tuesday night against Stoke.” Via www3.pictures.zimbio.com Poor old Stoke, forever destined to be a hypothetical hellhole with which to mock skilful wingers.