Hi there, we have a pressing issue to discuss today, regarding the topic of eating fish, aka seafood, aka YUCK.
Let’s start with what is single-handedly the WORST of the worst: oysters. They are NOT food. They are NOT meant for human intake. They are "shucking" terrible.
In fact, all shellfish is vile. Don't eat it. You deserve better.
This includes lobsters.
If you are dating someone whose idea of a romantic night out is putting on some bibs and eating this shit, you need to get out of that toxic relationship, and get out fast.
Then there are some things that should be illegal to cook and eat.
What is this?
Why???????
And while we are on the subject of sushi, SUSHI IS ANOTHER NO-NO. Seriously, cooked seafood is bad enough, but raw seafood? I have a very hard time believing that our bodies were made to process the consumption of literal slime.
Also, don't even get me started on this canned cat food aka tuna.
I don't care if it's quick and easy. It does not look, smell, or taste appetizing.
What about salmon? I know it's supposed to be "healthy," but this looks like an actual chunk of a human brain.
And lox is salmon's ugly sister whose only job is to ruin a perfectly good bagel.
But the best is when seafood-lovers try to rope in seafood-haters with calamari as if that’s the gateway drug to enjoying seafood. News flash: CALAMARI IS DISGUSTING, TOO.
And don’t even try to pretend that non-fried calamari tastes like pasta because it does not. Pasta is a gift from the gods and calamari is a gift from Satan.
And, finally on that note, do not EVER be the type of person who tries to sneakily make a seafood-hater eat seafood.
