I Watched "Freaky Friday" For The First Time As An Adult And Had So Many Thoughts
“LET'S HIT HER."
Freaky Friday was one of my favourite movies as a child. What could have been a bland remake was an instant comedy classic for me. I guess it was the combination of Jamie Lee Curtis and Lindsay Lohan's on screen chemistry, the sharp and infinitely quotable script, and the pop-punk backdrop that got me. Well, I haven't revisited it in years, so I thought I'd see how well it stood the test of time. Here's how the experience of rewatching it went down...
1. Oh, yeah, this is a Disney movie. So weird to think of Lindsay anywhere near a Disney project now.
2. Awww, the cute photo montage to “Happy Together” by The Turtles. Suddenly I’m 10 again!
3. PSYCHE. It’s not The Turtles, it’s Simple Plan. Coming in with those angsty guitars and setting the whole tone of the film.
4. I love the opening dichotomy of Tess being all “riiiise and shiiiiine” and Anna having to be literally dragged out of bed – one is definitely more relatable than the other.
5. UGH, Anna’s little brother Harry is sooooo annoying. If my sibling woke me up with an air horn it’d be the last thing they ever did.
6. Tess clearly has a favourite child... Harry.
7. Actually no, Tess is better than that. Her relationship with Anna is just more complicated than her relationship with Harry at this point in time.
8. It’s almost like they don’t quite get each other, and they need to spend a day living each other’s lives to renew their bond...
9. Dear God, I forgot that Anna has the worst hair. The blonde streaks amongst the dark red is just horrible in Aguilerean extremes.
10. Oh shit, remember Stacey Hinkhouse? We hate Stacey Hinkhouse.
11. It’s 2003, so Anna’s love interest Jake being played by Chad Michael Murray does make sense, but looking back, he's definitely not as hot as we all thought.
12. And the Shaggy Rogers look is not working for me.
13. OMG Anna is just a kind of mixed-up teenager trying to live her life and people keep screwing her over. Anna is all of us.
14. Like her teacher Mr Bates – wow wow. I always kind of thought he was just a strict teacher, but he’s actually a full-on dickhead!
15. The soundtrack to this film is VERY underrated – it’s a sparkling toast to early noughties pop-punk.
16. Tess’s shopping scene is so iconic for me. Like, when she says “you are a smart, strong, beautiful, independent woman and you don’t need a man to complete you”. We've all recited that once or twice for our friends, right?
17. I’m very uninterested in Anna and Jake’s budding romance. Sorry.
18. OMG, this is the first time we hear Anna's band Pink Slip's song. It slaps so hard! Do you remember the song? I'm going to guess that "Take Me Away" is the title.
19. There are two men in the band but they’re never introduced. Who are they? Why are they there?
20. Watching them react to stuff in the background is fun. One just looked directly into the camera. Brilliant.
21. Is Ryan attractive? I feel like he might be a very specific person’s type. Personally, I think he’s punching with Tess.
22. They are cute together though.
23. Tess has written a book but the cover is the ugliest cover I’ve ever seen.
24. Okay, Harry goes wayyyyyy too far. He brings his mates into Anna’s room, they all put on her bras, and read her diary out loud. WTF?
25. I like to think I can recite this entire Anna/Tess dinner table scene off by heart. Remember when she screams "you're ruining my life"? I learned a lot of tricks and phrases from Anna for my own angsty teenager years, hey.
25. As if they had an epic argument like that in a public restaurant, how uncouth!
26. Does anybody know what the old lady says? Is it actual Chinese? I’d like to know.
27. “EARTHQUAKE!” – Grandpa. His best line. It has more than a few reprisals.
28. Again, I think I can quote the entire sequence of Tess waking up as Anna.
29. “I’m allowed because I’m old!” Do you think Jamie Lee resented all the jabs about her age in this script?
30. Okay, how Jamie Lee’s performance as Tess as Anna didn’t get an Oscar nom is beyyyyyyond me!! “Ohhhh, I’m like the crypt keeper!” Seriously, her delivery is a gag a minute. Jamie Lee gets Anna’s character better than Lindsay ever could.
31. I don’t like Harry, but he’s being bullied and no one cares! What is this, 13 Reasons Why?
32. Yeah, Stacey Hinkhouse is a fucking cow. Who pushes someone down a flight of stairs like that?
33. Cut to Tess’s makeover scene, which is sublime – the montage sequence, the music laid over the top, and the end result. Those boots! The dress! The hair! I stan.
34. The crying woman in therapy! ICONIC. I would fucking love to play that part.
35. But Anna could not give a shit about keeping it together for eight hours enough to not get her mother fired. She does not even try with these patients.
36. Oooooooh, meanwhile Tess as Anna shakes down Elton Bates. WHAT a reveal! He was rejected by a young Tess at school.
37. I'm sorry Tess, two things: why don't you love your new look and since when was looking like Stevie Nicks a bad thing?
38. Fun fact: I used to repeat that “my first french fry in eight years” line whenever I would eat chips as a youngster.
39. Perhaps the best line of the ENTIRE film is when Anna as Tess says “let’s hit her" when they're talking to Pei Pei at the restaurant.
40. Okay, Tess’s parenting may be a bit dodge after all, since her kids seem to not get on in the slightest. Harry can’t stand to reveal he actually likes his sister and Anna is so selfish that she doesn’t care about Harry failing maths or being bullied – she only pays attention in the parent-teacher conference when it turns out Harry’s written a letter about her.
41. Sorry to beat you over the head with this, but Stacey Hinkhouse is pure evil. The cheating on her test thing – who thinks of that?!
42. OF ALL THE DAYS, TESS HAD TO MAKE HER TV APPEARANCE TODAY!
43. Who else thought they could fake it a damn sight better than Anna did? Just me. Well, that is until she TURNS THE PARTY. I’m sorry but the real Anna could never – Anna as Tess is like a completely different character.
44. Okay, it’s fucked up that Jake has tried it on with Anna and is now going for Tess, but you gotta admit they have chemistry.
45. Now Jake has come to the house to sing outside and his voice is terrible.
46. “You’re beautiful but you’re not her” – Jake, do you realise how fucked up you are?
47. Now he's at the wedding rehearsal!??
48. Just a fan theory of mine – Jake is one of Tess’s more challenging patients and he’s become dangerously obsessed with her and her daughter.
49. One, why are there security guards at this wedding rehearsal? And two, why do they arrest Anna’s two friends and not stalker Jake?
50. Jamie Lee Curtis looks like a super tall lady.
51. Did I just google Jamie Lee’s height? Yes.
52. She's about 5'7" for anyone who cares.
53. OMG The House of Blues – I can’t wait to hear the song againnnnnnn. Wait, how did Anna get in to play this gig at 15!?
54. NOW JAKE’S AT ANNA’S GIG!
55. Anna could not look less like she’s playing that guitar.
56. Jake don’t look at Anna like that – she’s 15 and two minutes ago you were into her mum!
57. Did the “Richards, mum” line confuse anyone else? For clarification, Anna (as Tess) says “act like Keith” when Tess (as Anna) runs off stage and says she can't perform. When she looks puzzled Anna adds, “Richards, mum”. You’re welcome.
58. YAAAAAAAAS. Anna (as Tess) shredding that guitar makes me feel things.
59. *Jake arrives on stage* “Anna?” WTF is this guy playing at?
60. Tess decides she needs to postpone the wedding, which at this point is very sensible, least of all because Anna is clearly not okay with it.
61. Okay, the speech is lovely. Jamie Lee can really do it all, amiright?
62. Wait, they swapped back and then Anna continued her speech in her old body? How confusing for all of the guests.
63. YAY, the wedding went ahead!
64. Jake is there, of course.
65. I guess he technically liked Anna all along, but it’s still weird – she is 15 and he works at the school!
66. Little hint of a sequel where Harry swaps with Grandpa? Nope. Stopped in its tracks by Pei-Pei.
67. Still one of my favourite movies ever. And while Lindsay does alright, it’s Jamie Lee who makes this film.