What its like to be a student with social anxiety
You walk into class, there's a sub, you have no friends in that class so you go sit in your assigned seat. You have nothing to worry about, but then the sub starts taking role. Your anxiety kicks in. What if you stutter. What if you say it to loud. What if you barley say "here". The sub gets to your name, it's a little to loud to be perfect. Anxiety takes over, you feel like everyone is looking at you, judging you, but no, its just yourself.
Your class is reading Romeo and Juliet, a soppy story about two lovers. The class is going around reading, taking turns. The person next to you finishes, you're next. Again your afraid you will stutter, afraid that the teacher will ask you to speak up. You read, it's perfect but because of anxiety that moment felt so uncomfortable it wasn't as perfect to you as what your classmates heard.
You have a speech in health, you build up all these horrible thoughts of what could go wrong. When you get up there you feel like your going to faint.
It's the end of the day and class has just ended, you get on the bus and sit down. Another student comes and sits next to you, all the other spots are taken up. They introduce themselves, you can barley keep the conversation going, because you feel to uncomfortable.
You're home, it's the weekend, you get a rest from people and all you want to do is be alone in your room. But the next day you feel like going out, talking to a couple of friends that you've had forever because everyone else is to damn hard to talk to. You text them, one replies but they're to busy, always to busy. Some reply the next day, some never reply, they're all busy, some give excuses and some don't. You end up listening to twenty one pilots, because of that one lyric you relate to. "i fear one night again/ that i am not my only friend". Its nice to have something to relate to, something that gives you reassurance.
After being alone in your room for multiple weekends your parents get concerned
"are you depressed"? They ask.
You always say no, you don't want to be the center of attention and get asked about your feelings. But you are depressed, feeling like you have no friends, your parents are yelling at you for not keeping up your grades when you have no motivation, and at least three of the five school days you have a mental breakdown that you hide on the inside to avoid attention.
Thats what it is like to have social anxiety.
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