If You Can Get 100% On This Quiz You Might Be A Mad Scientist

Strychnine has been used since Medieval times as a poison — a high dose causes severe muscle spasms and eventually asphyxiation. However, when taken in tiny doses, the authors say, it zings the nervous system in kind of the same way caffeine does. So it was basically Victorian-era Red Bull. Seriously: In 1896 one medical student wrote about micro-dosing with strychnine while cramming for an exam; he took about 0.02 ounces and experienced a near-fatal overdose. In conclusion: Stick with coffee.

In 1955, when more than 50% of the adult male population smoked, physicians' recommendations were cigarette brands' go-to advertising strategy. You can read more about that here.

Cocaine has been used as a topical anesthetic during eye surgery, as a numbing agent for dental surgery, as a suppository for hemorrhoids, and as drops for toothaches. Remember, cocaine is a schedule II drug the DEA says has "limited medical usage!," so definitely stick to Motrin.

According to the authors, people believed that undigested matter from the digestive tracts of deer, porcupines, fish, and humans could be made into small stones that could counteract deadly poisons when swallowed. Probs a better call to just let the poison do its thing tbh. :(

Tonsures were barber-surgeons. Yup, spa day in ancient Rome meant getting a fresh one, softer hands and feet, and some good old-fashioned blood loss/major surgery. IDK about you but I like my barbers to be barbers and my surgeons to be surgeons.

The authors explain that Jacques Ferrand wrote a book on the surgical cures for lovesickness, one of which included bloodletting to the point of heart failure. FFS, eat a poundcake and listen to "Unbreak My Heart" like the rest of us!

What's pictured above is trepanning, or creating a hole in the skull in order to do anything from removing a clot or even pieces of skull after a fracture to relieving pressure. In this painting, which is called Cutting the Stone, the trepanning is being performed in order to remove a stone that was thought to reside inside the head, causing "madness, idiocy, and dementia," according to the authors. Bonus question: Why is the surgeon wearing a funnel on his head and the onlooker wearing a book on hers?

Sorry to make you think about this, but according to the authors, Hippocrates used a red hot iron to cauterize hemorrhoids. :(

The authors say that Hippocrates recommended applying vegetables and lentils to the anus after your hemorrhoid treatment. Go plant-based or go home!

The authors explain that enemas were a popular treatment due to the belief in "autointoxication" — that the waste inside our bowels is poisoning us from within and the only way to avoid the many health problems it caused would be enemas. Lots of enemas. Fortunately, we know now that unless you're directed to by your doctor, you really don't need to do enema after enema (after enema) to keep yourself healthy. In fact, you probably shouldn't...

The pelvic douche was "a high-pressure water jet aimed at the genitals" in order to cure hysteria in women, explain the authors. In 1843 a French doctor explained that it creates "so agreeable a sensation" that it was important to limit each treatment to four or five minutes. OK, I can see this curing what ails you tbh.

Dr. Liston was so well-known for his lightning-quick amputations, the authors say, that spectators would gather in the galleries to watch. But his speed came at a bit of a price, precision-wise. He once accidentally sliced off a patient's testicle. In another surgery he accidentally amputated the fingers of his assistant (who was holding the patient's leg in place and later died of gangrene), and in that same procedure his knife came so close to a spectator that he (the spectator) dropped dead "of terror." Not a great batting average for the good doctor.

In 1844, an American dentist by the name of Horace Wells pulled out his own tooth while under nitrous oxide's influence and discovered he felt no pain. He went on to develop an apparatus that allowed patients to breathe it in before surgery. Voilà!

in the 19th century, a physician found that inhaling chloroform caused giddiness and heavy limbs, followed by unconsciousness. This made it seem like a great candidate for anesthesia and it was used before surgery as well as recreationally. Because it was a great numbing agent, it was later used in cough syrups and lozenges. Unfortunately chloroform turned out to also be lethal, and once a few too many healthy patients died from inhaling it, doctors stopped using it as a sedative. Good call!

Bad news, gang. According to the authors, leeches were placed on the upper thighs as well as on the vulva and sometimes on the cervix to treat menstrual cramps. Yikes.