The 9 Woes Of Adult Acne Sufferers

When you all told us our teenage spots were a phase, YOU WERE LYING.

1. Feeling like everybody, including their pet dogs, is looking at you

Via makeameme.org

To a rational, spot-free character, the on-going paranoia that everybody in the street is concerned by your skins welfare is non-existent. To you however, my covered friend, there is a 100% chance that the 5 year old stood at the opposite side of the road is transfixed by your face furniture. They're always watching.

2. Making ridiculous excuses to not leave the house.

Via trendhunter.com

It's not even hard for you to choose between being seen in your current state, or telling your mates you have diarrhea for the tenth time, promise to ease off on the laxatives and get absolutely ripped when you next see them down the pub. It's commonplace for you to 'go ostrich' when you've had yet another facial volcanic eruption because you intractably refuse to be known as 'the spotty one' anymore.

3. Instagram induced self hatred.

Via pinterest.com

The Valencia filter is on par with CC cream for its level of utter shambolic uselessness for acne victims. 4 photo edits, 6 filters and 10 minor adjustments later (these numbers are statistical, assured), you proudly post your Estee Lauder Double Wear laden selfie on Insta and wait for the likes to flood in. They don't, because an abnormally flawless and really irritating person is stealing your limelight instead, from their freshly uploaded, Goddess like self portrait, which is unnecessarily captioned 'no filter'. Maybe next time.

4. Seeing a 15 year old with better skin than you.

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Why don't teenagers have spots anymore? Damn you, Inka Williams. When you were 15, you had all kinds of spots, and some of them were even green. Several years on, after being lied to and told they'd disappear, they're still there, laughing at you mercilessly. Maybe it's something to do with the millennium - who knows, any reason is viable if it makes you feel better.

5. Being ID'd for paracetamol, despite the checkout assistant being younger than you

Craig Barritt / Getty Images / Via ebengregory.com

Oh please, try a different joke. Just because SOME people escaped an eternal pit of acne doom, doesn't mean you can't acquire acne as an adult, alright? You don't have to be a teenager to have this decorated visage. Read a book.

6. Selling a limb to afford more make up

Via diylol.com

If only smearing your face in glue and dunking it into a dish of glitter was plausible. You've been through 3 store cards, 2 loans and sold a kidney to pay for your expensive skin lotions and potions, foundations, primers and concealers - which all implicitly state that they will be the answer to your problems, make you look like Gigi Hadid, etc. LIES. Nothing works, you're skint and you have more spots than you started with (and everyone is a knob).

7. Mornings.

Via tumblr.com

There is nothing worse than waking up after a good scrub and admitting defeat, nor is it much better realising you have 3 new face friends first thing on a morning. At the advent of work, mustering the energy upon wakening to smear your face in yet another load of stupidly pricey gunk is so much harder when you have several mountains to cover and numerous landmines to fill.

8. Wondering what you did to deserve this.

Via buzzfeed.com

Like, really. Your hygiene is impeccable, you religiously take off your make-up, you give to charity, you've always helped old ladies across the road...

9. Being told, tirelessly, that it is all your fault.

Via tuningpp.com

Despite eating well, regularly exercising and saving drinking for the weekend, you are told time and time again that you're spotty for being you. You're apparently, so you've been told, not sleeping enough and you're definitely not getting enough fresh air. Oh please shut up. If bad health caused spots, a lot more people would have them and alas, if I wanted an in-depth review of my health, I'd have gone see to a doctor, but cheers for the laughs.