"I went on a date once. It was when I was 13."
"He kissed me and then he said, 'That was not as magical as I thought it was gonna be.'"
"He was super rich and his butler — literally, his butler — was there the entire time, but in a different movie theater."
"[And he and the butler] left, and I was stuck there. No one told me they were gonna leave."
"Then a baby came up to me, and I was like, 'Oh my God, a baby, and it's smiling at me!'"
"I smiled and it started screaming and crying."
"Then I went home and cried. That was the one date I've had."
"Dude is hella ugly now," Billie said. So I guess there is a happy ending for the ~bad guy~.
