They can't help you in the office.
Setting up iCal events for meetings?
They can't be doctors.
And they're terrible with hair.
You put them on a construction site and it's like, yo, dog, what's your deal?
They can't go to school.
And definitely can't do science.
They're even worse at fixing a car.
Oh my God, what are you even doing?
And if you even think for a second they belong behind the controls of a plane...
OK, yeah, this should go without saying: Dogs do not belong in the military.
That dog can't even tell that soldier what he's looking at because dogs can't speak English.
Dogs don't appreciate good fiction OR nonfiction.
And if they win at video games it's probably an accident.
Don't even get me started on gambling!
And they're horrible around the house.
How are you even sitting on that bike? You have a tail.
They're awful at celebrating religious holidays.
You don't even need the wrapping paper; the present is a gift card and it's in a bag, oh my God.
Ugh, use the autofocus!
They're not even good at being deep.
But you know what you know they are good at?