Four Awesome Books You Should Have Read In High School

Maybe you did read these. Or maybe you just relied on SparkNotes to get you through English class, because you're a barbarian and reading is for fools. Whatever the case, these are the four books that really deserve a second read, because as an adult, you're going to enjoy them.

Frankenstein by Mary Shelley

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Published anonymously in 1818 (because, you know, women can't write), Frankenstein could be considered an early foray into the Science Fiction genre.

Simply put, this is a story about a man with a god complex and the disgusting creature he creates out of stolen body parts. You've got to be hooked now.

The protagonist, Victor Frankenstein, is so disgusted by this hideous creature that he abandons it like a teenaged father. The Creature, having learned to speak and understand human emotion, has vowed to kill all that Victor loves, and Victor himself, for creating him.

As a senior in high school, my interest in this book only went so far as my graduating GPA. As a slightly-older-and-more-experienced-young-adult, I have had enough life experiences to see that The Creature is Frankenstein's darkest demon. The Creature is the lump sum of his cheats, lies, and failures, and it is literally destroying his life.

Also, Frankenstein and the Creature are totally bromantic for each other, and their little game of cat and mouse is adorably nauseating.

Grendel by John Gardner

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Yes, Grendel, the nasty viking-eating monster that Beowulf so famously slaughtered, has his own story, taking place years before Beowulf even shows up to save the Danes' whiny asses. In fact, Grendel is so pre-Beowulf, that he watches the evolution of humans from damned dirty apes to civilized people.

Grendel has no companion except his mother (who looks absolutely nothing like a gold-dipped Angelina Jolie, by the way), whose curiosity leads him from his monster cave to the world of humans. He sees them grow and develop into wasteful creatures, whose bards sing their praises anyways. Upset over this hypocrisy, and the fact that these people get to throw parties while he still lives in his mom's basement, Grendel decides to attack the Danes. Then Beowulf arrives to kill Grendel, then there's a a golden horn and Beowulf has sex with Grendel's mom, and then there's a dragon...

Wait. I went too far.

Anyways, Grendel is great. It touches on subjects like mother/child relationships, the disconnect between man and beast, and isolation. It's the perfect book for those of us who unfortunately identify with monsters on the outside of civilization.

And those of us who unfortunately live with our parents after college.

Macbeth by William Shakespeare

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This is a play. You probably hated reading Shakespeare by seventh grade because reading scripts is boring. You probably avoided reading aloud in class because you couldn't fully understand what was going on. No one could, yet your teachers crammed this junk down your throat like it was candy, because, Shakespeare.

Well, that was my experience. Admittedly though, I enjoyed Macbeth. And you know why?

DEATH. BLOODLUST. MURDER. GHOSTS. SEX.

All the things a girl in a Catholic high school setting would typically be shielded from, presented to her in a dog-eared, musty paperback, riddled with the graffiti of the students before her.

Open Scene: Macbeth and Banquo have just slaughtered two opposing armies and are approached by three haggard witches, who bestow upon these scruffy Scots a prophecy. Macbeth will one day become King. Banquo's descendents will rule Scotland.

So Macbeth has Banquo killed, but Banquo's ghost visits Macbeth and reveals what a sissy he is.

And other things happen. And you can imagine these Scots wearing kilts and having hairy legs, so long as you realize this is a blood-filled story full of good ol' Scottish humor.

End Scene: Macbeth dies because he's a little bitch.

The Canterbury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer

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If you can read this in English, you should probably thank Chaucer. He was the first guy to write his poetry in English, making his work available to people of all social class standings, not just those who had been classically educated in French and Latin.

Anyways, the Tales.

Imagine a rag-tag group of pilgrims on their way to Canterbury to pay homage to the Shrine of Saint Thomas Becket. Don't worry so much about that, it's a British thing. The real meat of the story is pilgrims' stories themselves. I could try to explain the premise of each tale, but that would just ruin the fun for you. Just know that there are mentions of debauchery, madness, lying - basically, lots and lots of sin.

In high school, my favorite part about reading The Canterbury Tales was the class discussion. We got to talk about sex, blowjobs, and why gingers probably don't have souls, all according to the English school of thought in Chaucer's time. He wrote about the people and for the people, and though he didn't have immature high school seniors in mind, I like to pretend he thought maybe I'd enjoy his naughty humor centuries later.

I'm sure you regret not reading this. Or not. You could always watch A Knight's Tale and pretend it's an accurate representation of the Canterbury Tale of the same name.